“Happy is one of the many things I’m likely to be over the course of a day and certainly over the course of a lifetime. But I think if you have the expectation that you’re going to be happy throughout your life–more to the point, if you have a need to be comfortable all the time–well, among other things, you have the makings of a classic drug addict or alcoholic.”
― Carrie Fisher, Wishful Drinking
When most people think of a state of Joy they imagine a feeling of happiness. For example, seeing your Football team win the grand finals might give you a great deal of joy. We say we are “joyed” on hearing that our preferred political party has won the elections or we passed an exam and we claim joy when we win the cash jackpot. I see people on game shows absolutely in hysterics of “joy” on winning “a brand new car”. Is that Joy or just a transient state of happiness?
The Master Jedi Yoda is in many ways symbolic of an aged and wise old Buddhist Monk who resides in a mountain top temple somewhere where the air is thin in the Himalayas. You would find that these old Monks probably don’t have a lot to be “over joyed” about. After all, they spend their day in contemplation and meditation when not chanting or reading. Their lives are simple, ascetic and disciplined yet if you were ask them how they felt, they would respond that they feel “Joy”.
No Secret
Monastics and Mystics of all traditions and religions all claim the same thing, a deep and abiding sense of Joy. How is that? Where does it come from? In our Western and secular society can we come to the same sense of Joy without devoting to life in a temple or monastery? How can we feel joy if it’s not tied to food, sex, material possessions, winning and money? Is there some secret we don’t know about? I mean a secret, not that scam fad called the “Secret” where we simply claim whatever we want from the Universe be it a fast car, boats, money, hot partner and piles of money and it will just fall out of the sky along with a bucket of Joy because of the “Law of Attraction”.
There’s actually no “Secret”, Joy is a natural state of being. If we focus on the breath and watch it we begin to sense that deep and abiding presence of joy within us. Call it whatever you want, it has many names but we feel it when we observe the breath and quieten our mind. Most people don’t even realize this and live in a false perception that only what is external can bring Joy when the real meaning of Joy resides within us all. That is a quantum leap for a lot of people to make when they have spent their lives seeking “Happiness” thinking it to be Joy.
“Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are; it solely relies on what you think” – Buddha
Happiness v Joy
Happiness is dependent on attaining something that is external to ourselves. The constant search for the “right” partner, career, home, car and lifestyle, that “right” combination of people, place, things and thoughts tied to some sort of insane expectation that it will remain so forever is the basis for happiness.
Happiness is a point in the future that is dependent on things that are largely out of our control. What may make us happy now may not rock our boat tomorrow. We invest so much energy on building the foundations for “Happiness” only to end up dissatisfied, disillusioned and falling out of love. All of these things are not necessary in themselves, we only think they are and we are fooled in to believing that the attainment of Joy is contingent on certain conditions.
In recovery we learn to recycle pain and despair in to Joy. Life is not so reliant on the attainment of specific external conditions in order to be “happy”, we understand that Joy is a deeper sense of being not a fleeting emotion. Joy means that we can maintain a sense the “all is fundamentally well” even when things at the moment appear to be going the opposite. We know that “this too shall pass”, there is no pathological evasion of sadness but a healthy acknowledgement of our human emotions.
Having Joy is being able to be sad as well as happy, we do not feel that being sad or depressed means that there is something wrong with us because we are not perpetually Happy. We accept that life can be hard and painful and we understand that emotions like happiness and sadness are transient while true Joy is abiding and eternal.
“You have no cause for anything but gratitude and joy” – Buddha