Years from Now

12 Step Jedi Destiny, Mindfulness, Perception, Uncategorized

Star Wars may be a work of fiction but for many it sparked an interest in the infinite possibilities and the mystery of the cosmos. The Universe is vast. No one knows exactly how big or how old the Universe is. No one knows for certain how the big bang came about or when the Universe will end. Our cosmos comprises countless stars and worlds within billions of galaxies. There may also be multiverses and parallel universes.

The nature of time is also still being worked out. Time is not linear as we imagine but can be manipulated and reversed. Science postulates that time travel is feasible. If we can get the math and technology right it may be possible to pay our old self or our future self a visit.

Our human senses are limited as is our reach in space. Our physical existence is a mere instant in the expanse of time. We all exist in a finite box of space and time. The breadth of our knowledge and experience is perhaps a tiny fraction of our potential. Our impact in this lifetime even in human terms, pathetically small. The fact that often escapes us however is that all is interconnected. We may be small but we are a piece of the puzzle. A part of the whole.

 

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the tress and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should” – Desiderata

 

 

The Wall

I looked out across a stretch of water separating us from the mainland and then down at a sea wall being built. A colleague standing beside me asked how long I thought the sea wall would last? Would it hold out for years, decades or centuries? I had no idea. The ocean and her tides sometimes has her own plans and she definitely has time and lots of it. I pointed out that the stretch of water in front of us would one day recede as the climate cooled and the sea level dropped. Before that it would likely rise. The ocean would rise and fall many times over the next hundred thousand years. Whether the sea wall lasted or not that long barely mattered. The preference would be that it lasted as long as it was needed but to what end, we have no control, we can only do what we can now. Our actions in building the wall will provide some guarantee but not all. Perhaps in centuries to come people will look at the wall and wonder about those that built it.

Is life like that? We throw all of our energy and commitment in to building a decent life. We invest so much in to our own growth and those of our loved ones. Much of our lives are spent learning how to function in the world and then dedicated to working and building a career. Years invested in paying off college fees, a mortgage and saving for retirement or our kids’ education. We come to old age and we look back on our life and how the time was spent. Did any of it mean anything, did it make a difference, will any of it matter a hundred years from now?

 

Butterfly Effect

Will it matter a hundred years from now? This is the question that keeps some of us awake at night. Those of us who know regret will ponder the meaning of life and question our impact. We want to achieve self-actualization and know that our lives meant something and made a difference. If we consider for a moment that our memories may be forgotten in a couple of generations, simply washed away with the tide of time it can seem life has played some cruel joke.

What if every thought, word and action mattered. The ripple effect of what you are doing this instant carries over the years of your life and the centuries beyond. Each action creates a butterfly effect that reverberates through time and has profound effects on those whom we know today and future generations that are to be born tomorrow.

The world is like a complex network of cause and effect, a rich tapestry. On the surface there is a rich design and underneath a jumble of countless threads. Every single thread represents a thought, a word an action. Each tree that falls and every fragile seedling that emerges from the ground has an impact on the world. Every child that is born makes a difference. Our choices made every instant carry in to the future in one form or another as they set a process in motion.

 

Survivors

Being a survivor of a violent and abusive upbringing I can see how pain and misery can have massive repercussions in a life. Sometimes we remember hurtful things that were said to us when we were very young. Perhaps the people who said them were a parent, a sibling or a close friend. Those words or actions have never been forgotten and they influence us in some way. The way we choose to treat others may also be a product of the way we were treated in the past. Through those choices we are perpetuating something that started perhaps decades or centuries ago.

By deciding to be sober many of us changed the future in ways we cannot imagine and will never know. That is a good thing if we do good.

 

Shape the Future

The Jedi were mindful about time and space and their reach across it. They were mindful of the impacts that their actions had not just in the here and now but across the galaxy and far in to the future. Unlike the Jedi we cannot jump in to a star ship and hyperspace from one end of the Galaxy to the other. We cannot influence what happens on another world. Our actions here on Earth, no matter how trivial, do still have an immediate and a long term impact.

 

“A hundred years from now it will not matter what my bank account was, the sort of house I lived in, or the kind of car I drove . . . . but the world maybe different because I was important in the life of a child.” – Forest E Witcraft

The choices that we make as consumers will decide whether unethical and polluting companies continue to operate. Our unsustainable use of resources may deprive someone else or make life more impoverished to someone we have never met. The way we speak to our kids and the way we conduct ourselves can have far reaching consequences. What we do now can make a difference in one hundred years. You and I may not be remembered but a long forgotten act of cruelty or kindness will still be felt and perhaps not just on our world.

Remember that.

Jedi have Foresight

12 Step Jedi Acceptance, Objectivity, Virtues

Jedi can see the future through the Force

Through the Force, Jedi can see both near term and long-term future events. Future seeing abilities are sometimes a result of meditation.

(33 Jedi Traits)

 

Can we predict the Future? If we could, who would want to carry the burden of knowing their fortune and the future of all? Who could honestly feel blessed in having the ability to predict future events? It could be said that knowing the future would give one the power to change some unfortunate event. That would be true to some extent but in the vast majority of cases you would still be powerless to change predetermined events. People would still die, bad things would still occur and you would still have to carry the burden of knowing beforehand.

The Jedi had some ability to foresee future events. Yoda for example had visions of the fall of the Jedi Order. Even in the fiction however the Jedi only had a glimpse of the future. Anakin did not see his own fall or the tragic end of his wife, Padmé Amidala. In fact Anakin created his own destiny by falling to fear, anger and hate. In the real world there are people who have some sort of psychic ability to predict with clarity future events. Others use basic logic, reasoning and probability.

 

“Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future..” – Yoda

 

Crystal Ball Gazing

While most of us can barely foresee future like a fortune teller, alcoholism has taught me that the future can be anticipated. I have no doubt that certain actions lead to typical outcomes. It does not take a crystal ball to realize what would transpire if I had a drink or two. Armed with experience and self knowledge I know that certain triggers can lead to certain outcomes. Those outcomes carry consequences.

Scientists have shown that the human mind is capable of using logic, probability and patterns drawn from past events to predict the future. My History teacher said “We study dead people so that we can appreciate the past, understand the present and predict the future”. He was right. It does not take a Jedi to predict the Future, just a rational human being.

 

“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment: You create a good future by creating a good present” – Eckhart Tolle

 

The Rational View

Being a rational human being, being Jedi is about having foresight. It is about taking a “Future View” of our actions. In active alcoholism I never considered consequences for my actions but I feared the Future. Life was lived for the moment on some sort of hedonistic merry go round that only led to suffering. The future appeared dark and desperate. A form of insanity existed where I thought that if I kept trying the same thing over and over again I would eventually end up with a different and better outcome. Reality suggested the opposite.

 

“The dark side clouds everything. Impossible to see the light, the future is.” – Yoda

 

We may have plans but so does the Future. The truth is we have no idea what is coming around the bend. To worry about a future that has no come to pass does little more than take us away from when life happens; in the Now.

 

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment”. Buddha

 

 

Future View

These days I take a “Future View” when making decisions. This is simply considering the long and short term consequences of a decision and weighing them rationally against perceived immediate benefits. Resisting impulses is a form of self discipline that leads us to consider the near and long term impacts of making a decision that appears to have short lived benefits.

 

“Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.” – Marcus Aurelius

 

We make decisions that discount the future all of the time and potentially lead to poor outcomes. For example, we choose to speed while driving. Do we consider thinking that gaining five minutes on the road carries a risk of getting a fine or having an accident that could potentially devastate not just one life but many?

We spend money on frivolous purchases rather than saving for something important. Words leave our worth which we later regret saying but which gave us satisfaction at the time. Important assignments and preparation for exams are delayed until the last moment knowing full well the consequences in advance. Actions lead to predictable outcomes which we can visualize clearly in our minds eye, yet we make the same errors over and over again. Taking a “Future View” allows us to avoid these traps.

 

Change the Future

A “Future View” carries no guarantees but as a virtue it is up there with patience, honesty, humility, courage and self discipline. Jedi are familiar with these virtues. We alcoholics know that the decisions we make today can ultimately decide the rest of our lives. The power of foresight is used to avoid a future we would rather not have.

One can Meditate on their decisions and use their intuition and common sense. Your heart will show the way. As long as we stay on the path we no longer need fear the future. We do what we need to do today, living one day at a time. We turn the outcomes over to a Higher Power. Things do turn out OK.

 

True happiness is… to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future.” – Seneca

Jedi believe in destiny

12 Step Jedi Destiny, Perception, Purpose, Spirituality, Uncategorized

Jedi don’t believe in coincidences, Jedi trust in the will of the Force and accept the fact that nothing happens by accident. Jedi believe in destiny, and that there is some method to what happens in the Universe. Things happen when they are meant to happen; there is perfection; nothing happens by accident. There is a ‘soul-plan’ for every person, but it’s hard to understand these things from our level.

(33 Jedi Traits)

Design or Accident

Is the Universe a product of intentional and intelligent design or is it simply the expression of natural laws? Does life have a  purpose or is it simply a random chance event, an aberration? Is there a destiny for all human beings, a type of Karma that has already been decided from past lives and a Divine will? Does determinism apply? What about time? Is it linear as we perceive it or circular? Do past event recur and have current events already played out? Is reality as it appears or an illusion? Are we divine being having a human experience or just evolved beings having no particular experience other than a mental one? Does the Force play a hand in our lives or are we all just here because of evolution and carry no inherent purpose at all?

For years Philosophy has grappled with these questions and come up with answers. Religion also provides answers on matters of life, death, after life and destiny. I was taught as a child that if I live a good life, say my prayers, follow the commandments and confess my sins I will go to heaven. Do the opposite and it is off to Hell.

I also learned that Buddhists believe in reincarnation and asked a Priest once if reincarnation and Karma were real. The reply I got was unsettling. Reincarnation did not exist and non-Christians were barred from Heaven. What of Dogs I asked surely they would join us in Heaven. I was assured they would not. My next question landed me in hot water; “Why then” I asked “Does the Bible say that all creatures are of God and will enter the Kingdom of Heaven”? I guess it was my destiny to let my mouth get me in to trouble.

“Difficult to see. Always in motion is the future..” – Yoda

No Fate

In the Terminator 2, Sarah Connor wrote “No Fate” on a table before she went to assassinate the man who would bring about the rise of the machines. It seemed that history and the future had been set and could not be changed but we know that is not always the case. The past cannot be changed but our destiny can, if we choose.

“If once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny, consume you it will, as it did Obi-wan’s apprentice.” – Yoda

Anakin Skywalker seemed destined to fall to the Dark Side and become a Sith. Fate had played him a cruel hand and despite the efforts of Obi-wan Kenobi and the love of Padmé Amidala, Anakin could not be saved. Yoda seemed to think that Darth Vader was bound for eternity to Darth Sidious in perpetual suffering. That it was his destiny and would also be the destiny of Luke if he succumbed to his own dark emotions. We see in the “Return of the Jedi” that destiny can be changed.

“You cannot escape your destiny,” Obi-Wan tells Luke. “You must face Darth Vader again.”

“I can’t kill my own father,” Luke says, almost pleading.

“Then the emperor has already won.”

Luke chose not to destroy his Father; he cast his Lightsaber aside as well as his anger. Through forgiveness and compassion Luke released Anakin from his Karmic prison and destroyed the Dark Lord. Had Luke succumbed to his anger and killed Darth Vader he would have simply replaced him as an apprentice to Darth Sidious.

We not need follow a fateful path that leads to an unhappy end. We have the power in our hands to change our destiny and redeem ourselves. Life is not predetermined; we are not prisoners to some Fate.

 

Choose your Destiny

“If it pleases the Gods, so be it. They may well kill me, but they can’t hurt me” – Epictetus after Plato

A few years ago I stood teetering on a precipice and stumbled in to a dark chasm. At that moment I had a choice, my destiny had come to a fork in the road. I could continue down the path I had walked and probably continue to live a short life of fear and misery or I could grasp the hand of Faith and trust in a Higher Power to lead me down a higher path.

The choice I made finds me here today. Had I chosen the other way my life would probably be looking a lot different now. I have come to learn that Faith is not thinking “God” will protect us from the arrows of Fate but simply trusting in a process where we hand our lives over to a Higher Power and “Letting Go”. It worked for me.

Every moment we are tweaking our destiny. Each decision we make ripples through time carrying the residue of consequence. Karmic consequence is a natural law however we cannot know if Divine providence or a Cosmic Plan plays a part in our destiny. We cannot know if our actions will take us to some afterlife of bliss or burning souls.

If there is a Divine Plan and we each have a Soul Plan then it is up to us to trust the process and live out our lives as we feel best expresses the grandest version of ourselves. We cannot determine how the story will end. All we can do is play our part, accept what happens and exit the act when the time comes. Tolerance, flexibility and acceptance are also Jedi virtues, adherence to some doctrine of determinism is not.

 

Karma Sucks

“Karma’s a Bitch”, the guy who said it was partially hidden in shadow. The moon shone down on us and the surrounding desert was bathed in a pale light. I could see a mountain range beyond a wide plain of black volcanic rocks. Thorn trees dotted the landscape like tortured souls, bent and twisted. It was cold.

The man who spoke walked over and offered me a cigarette. I declined. My ears were ringing and I had a splitting headache. We were on guard duty, patrolling our Platoon harbor. The Platoon slept around us quietly snoring. Recon vehicles were parked in a circle like old west wagons. It was a “non-tactical” bivouac but smoking was still forbidden after a “black out” was ordered. My companion shrugged, put a smoke in his mouth and lit it in cupped hands. The cigarette flared and his face came in to view, dirty and stained with two day old camouflage paint starting to wear, stubble on his chin. His fingers were black from shooting. I could see him grinning broadly and eyeing me intently.

That day we had lost an Officer to a “friendly fire” incident. 81mm mortars were being fired in support of an assault platoon moving in to do a flanking attack on an enemy position. The mortar fire was intended to keep the enemies heads down. As soon as the platoon was in position they would give the signal and the mortar fire would be walked away from the enemy. The platoon would assault the position with small arms fire, grenades and shoulder fired rockets. Any fleeing enemy would be ambushed by another Platoon or get caught in the mortar fire depending on the direction they withdrew.

The problem was the order was somehow given to direct the mortars in to the path of the moving platoon. Two landed before someone realized the mistake and stopped the barrage. The Officer leading the assault took a piece of shrapnel and was currently fighting for his life. The irony was that this particular Officer was hated by everyone. Karma or bad luck had singled him out with an errant 81mm mortar. No one would miss him. My companion chuckled “Stupid Bastard had it coming anyway” he spat. I watched him wander away, rifle slung over shoulder, the smell of cigarette smoke lingering behind him.

“There is no such thing as chance; and what seem to us merest accident springs from the deepest source of destiny” – Friedrich von Schiller

 

Fate is Fickle

I wondered about what he said. Was it Karma; a merest accident from the deepest source of destiny? The support platoon firing the mortars didn’t work with this Captain. They didn’t have to put up with his incompetence and decisions that made no sense and made everyone’s lives miserable. One of the Grunts had taken a fragment in the eye but was otherwise fine and had to be evacuated with the Officer. A few other guys had light wounds and were kept in the field. I personally felt it was poetic justice what had happened to the Captain but had divine fate played a hand?

A year later I ran in to the Captain. He was in my new Battalion. He had made a full recovery and was not only his old self, he was worse. The Brass had also decided to give him a medal and he was now a Major and on a career fast track. I thought of all the hundreds of miserable saps that he would command in the future. How many careers would he trample over to get his way. The accident had been a boon to his career. Yes, Karma really does suck.

Not long after I was court martialled and discharged for a drunken spree that included a pub crawl in four different countries and a run in with the police. I had been AWOL and it was not the first time. Karma strikes again.

“Fate is a fickle bitch who dotes on irony.” – Glen Cook “The Black Company”

 

Breaking Samsara

Karma is an Eastern belief that differs to the “Heaven or Hell” coin toss of western religions. I say coin toss because some people still believe that masturbation will condemn a person to hell. I don’t believe that. Karma might suggest something different for that “sin”, like indifference. Hindus and Buddhists believe that we are in Samsara, a constant cycle of birth, death and rebirth. Where we end up in every life is largely decided by how we conducted ourselves in former lives.

We all have a chance to break that Karmic cycle by living virtuous lives or as the Buddhist suggest, taking the noble path. With more virtue and right living we get more Karma credits. Get enough and we are on our way to the end of Dukkha (suffering), we achieve a state of transcendence and arrive at “nothingness”. Simply put Karma means actions have consequences. We largely decide our own soul journey of endless lives through our actions. Determinism does not play a part.

 

No one gets out alive.

The weird thing is that every turn in my life which has seemingly appeared “bad” has turned out for the best. An unexpected life changing event occurs which sets us on a new trajectory. We end up in places and in situations we could never imagine. Sometimes fate appears to carry such design that we cannot help but wonder if we are exactly where we are meant to be despite the resistance we put up getting there. Is it fate or serendipity? Do we have a “Soul Plan”? Perhaps destiny, fate, free will and chance are all combined under some Cosmic Plan. We each have a destiny but it is ours to change it through Free Will.

Simple luck would explain a lot of injustices in the world. Perhaps someone is looking over us. God knows I should be dead fifty times over with some of the dumb shenanigans I have pulled over the years. Eventually my luck will run out.

One thing is for sure, I’m glad I was standing in the right place, at the right moment and was shielded from the blast by that Captain when the Mortar round hit. I like to think there was a reason for that.

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne Dyer

Future

12 Step Jedi Control, Emotional Sobriety, Mindfulness, Perception, Uncategorized

“You cannot prevent what you cannot see coming. You can only do what you think is right at each moment as you live it. We can plan, hope, and dread the future. What we cannot do is know it.” – Qui-Gon Jinn

We spend a lot of time “time traveling”. We reflect on the past or project in to the Future playing out scenarios, ruminating or dreaming. Most of the time our minds are focused on getting to a destination in time, place or circumstance. Rather than living in the moment we focus our mind on plans and outcomes at some point in the future while not ruminating on the Past.

Unlike the past which cannot be altered or changed the future is not set. Every decision made every moment shifts the forward trajectory. We often marvel at the serendipity of events or their complete and utter chance and circumstance. The insignificant choices that you make, what you decide to do or say at any given moment can have an impact that carries on for years and decades. It can affect your life in innumerable ways and the lives of others too.

The daily decision to remain sober for example is a good example. I choose sobriety and in making that decision I influence the future. Not only my future but also those close to me and perhaps someone I have never met before. If I chose the opposite and took a drink I would set in motion a chain of events in consequence to that decision. I would likely get drunk, upset those close to me, fail in my duties and possibly, even, get in to a car and have an accident that cause the death or life time injury to another.  All of these things can flow from the decisions I choose. I have partial control over the future and therefore I have an inherent responsibility in the outcomes.

Power over the Future

I partially disagree with Qui-Gon Jinn on the first note “you cannot prevent”. It is true that things will happen that are completely out of our control. For example, the economy can turn sour and mass unemployment can directly impact on us. The Government can change policies which affect our ability to pay for Health Care or Education. A freak accident can occur on our way to work. Some things are completely out of our control, some things aren’t. I can still take action now that prepares me for the unforeseen. I still have a degree of control over how I choose to respond.

We can  prevent what we cannot see coming. We are not powerless in recovery or in life or anything. I may not have control over most things but I do have partial control over some things.

Where my own thoughts and conducts is concerned, I do have full control. I have control over my mind. In the event that I get drunk however I forfeit much of that control. Once I take a drink I lose my choices. I am no longer responsible or competent but tragically I still have an impact on the future.

Premeditatio malorum

One of the ways I deal with the “things I cannot change” is to practice the Stoic exercise of Premeditatio malorum* or negative visualization. Without slipping in to morbid contemplation I will visualize scenarios that “might occur”. For example I will entertain losing my job due to redundancy, getting in to arrears on my mortgage and losing my house. This of course leads to stress on my marriage which might culminate in separation and divorce. Rather than causing anxiety and panic for something that seems rather common today, I train myself mentally to accept the outcome in advance and continue to do my best in life.  I accept that it will suck and it will hurt and cause a lot of hardship but I also know that I’ve been through worse and things will turn out OK.

The exercise also reminds me to be grateful for my job, car, house, marriage and life. All of these things being transient and impermanent. They are still important at least to me, however I have to be prepared for the worst.

In my line of work we are constantly doing risk assessments. “”What If” scenarios are used to factor in unforeseen outcomes and hidden hazards. We cannot premeditate every thing but we take the time to think things through, develop a plan and add flexibility to account for surprises. We plan to succeed but we also prepare for failure. This is something that any one can apply in to their lives. Being sober is accepting that life is not going to be “happily forever after” all the time.

The Power of Now

We have the power through our own choices to affect our own lives and the lives of others. Powerlessness suggests the opposite and being recovered, being sober is being empowered.

“ I am powerfully recovered” – Anne Wayman ”Powerfully Recovered”

The best we can do is to live moment to moment in accordance with our principles. It is true that we cannot not know the Future. I personally don’t believe that a crystal ball or the morning paper horoscope reveals anything credible. I don’t use that to plan my day.

“We can plan, hope and dread the future”, but perhaps it is better to focus on how we can make a better future through the choices that we make in the present. You can make goals and plans and dream of a better future but action happens in the now. Get to work and adjust your sails when you need to as the winds of fate will change. Embrace that.

“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

*Further information on Negative Visualization can be found here