Hate

12 Step Jedi Dark Side, Ego, Emotional Sobriety, Love, Sanity

“Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Yoda

“Strike me in anger and I will always be with you” – Luke Skywalker

 

Hatred is a powerful emotion. Unlike anger which is a transitory emotion eventually burning out, hatred will endure the test of time and be as potent as the day it rose. I have personally seen and felt the results of ethnic and religious hatred that had lay buried beneath the surface for generations simmering but never extinguished finally exploding into life. Entire communities wiped out, former neighbors and friends turned enemies ready to slaughter each other with impunity.

Hatred flows in the blood. Hate is a living thing; it is passed on like a curse from one generation to the next. Endless wars and bloodshed are fueled by Hatred.

More than a quarter of a century ago I went to my Father’s homeland. The country was tearing itself apart in an orgy of ethnic and religious hatred that shocked the world. In that beautiful country I was surrounded by people who hated “them” and wanted to see “them” suffer a cruel fate. I belonged to an ethnic group that had a historic vendetta against another group who shared the same language, history and culture but had been at war for centuries.

Standing there none of it made sense to me. It seemed insane. I began to question the war and my own motives. Rather than take up arms I decided not to add to the insanity seeking instead to work with Aid groups. I could not find any animosity or hatred in me for an entire people based on their ethnicity.

 

Affliction

People do cruel and obscene things to each other out of Hate. Sometimes these acts are done without a hint of anger or pride. Hatred is justification enough for torture, murder, rape, genocide. The very emotion removes all humanity and commonality with the object of ones hatred. To Hate is to separate.

Wrath, the ultimate manifestation of Hatred is considered a deadly sin because of its raw and total destructiveness that eventually and utterly consumes itself to oblivion.

Hatred is a uniquely human emotion. There is no other creature in existence that knows hate. Animals will display anger, aversion, fear and aggression but never deep rooted hate waiting to spring in to acts. Why is that? What is the possible evolutionary advantage of being capable of and having the potential for Hate?

Why do I still feel resentment, righteous indignation and  sometimes even hate towards others?

 

“You have hate, you have anger, but you don’t use them.” – Count Dooku

 

 

With Extreme Prejudice

In the Army they taught us to “Hate” the enemy, whoever they decided it was at the time. The reason was simple. Killing another human being is much easier if you hate them. You will no longer see the enemy as a fellow human being who shares the same hopes, fears and dreams as you filtered through the lens of hate.

In the course of the training the Hate grows. You learn to hate the instructors and senior ranks because they treat you with cruelty and contempt. In turn you turn that Hate on others. Eventually war gives you an outlet and a target for that hate. Aggression and a willingness to do violence are multiplied through hate.

People are not naturally primed to kill. Killing is not in our nature. The mental and spiritual barriers that prevents a human from killing another is broken down by Hate. A person might kill out of the pure instinctual drive to survive or in a fit of rage where all sense and reason is momentarily lost. Hatred, on the other hand, provides the “sense” and the “reason” for committing the worst of atrocities.

I Hate You!” – Anakin

“I Loved You!” – Obi-wan Kenobi

 

 

Consumed

Anakin was driven to the Dark Side through the hatred that grew within him like some insidious tumor. The fire of Mustufar ravaged his body but hatred utterly consumed his soul.

Anakin’s Grandson, Kylo Ren, suffered the same affliction. Ren’s hatred was so deep that he became a psychopath. Hatred had driven Luke to almost kill his nephew Ben Solo. Believing himself entitled to Justice Kylo Ren derived sadistic pleasure and satisfaction in hunting and murdering those who had been close to him, who had hurt him. Hatred spurned him on but as it grew deeper it consumed him.

Anakin driven to insanity and complete loss of identity with his transformation to Vader suffered deeply. Vader was tortured physically, mentally and spiritually with every breath. The Hatred was complete and transmutated itself into raw power. The Dark Side. Vader no longer hated anyone or anything other than himself and his Master. In Vader lay no festering ordinary hatred. There was only a will to control all that is within a closed fist of absolute power. All of Vader’s intent was directed there.

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that” – Martin Luther King

 

The Insanity

Alcoholism leads to Hatred. An alcoholic not only feels regret, remorse and disgust at their behavior but also deep seated Hate. The Hate can be all consuming. Our disease, other people and especially the self are all objects of our Hate. Refusing to take blame for our condition we lay it on others and our resentment turns to Hate. I wanted to hurt others when my hate grew so big but most of all I wanted to hurt myself. There is absolutely no logic or reason to it, but to the alcoholic is makes perfect sense.

In short it’s a form of insanity.

A man can feel both love and hate in his heart and still function. Alcohol distorts everything. The sufferer will love and hate more passionately but in a way that seems unreal. The disease afflicts our view of the world and twists emotions in such a way that we no longer resemble the person we once were. Nothing is normal and everything is to excess.

 

“Darkness is a lower energy than light, and when you bring light to the presence of darkness you don’t have to warn it, you don’t have to tell it that it has to get away. It can’t survive. Light dissolves darkness. And so does love dissolve hate and so does joy dissolve sadness and so does faith dissolve doubt and so on” – Wayne Dyer

 

 

Water

Recently a friend told me about the “memory of water”. The controversial theory is that water retains a memory of what resided within it. Water will also store the vibrational energy of emotions directed towards it. The idea sounds fanciful and experiments which have attempted to demonstrate the theory have been unable to be replicated using scientific method.

As a believer in the Force I have to agree that every action, word, thought and emotion carries potential energy. Hate and Love each carry energy. One is dark and the other is light. Love fosters and upholds life while Hate brings war and destruction. Both emotions have consequences.

I attempted to replicate the experiment at home to test the memory of water. Every morning for the first week I woke up and filled my mind with negative thoughts. Suitably wrapped in a foul mood I approached a glass of water on my desk and said the following words; “I hate you! Die! Kill! War!”. I poured all of my malice and anger in to the glass and walked away. Strangely enough the rest of the day did not go well for me. I repeated this every day for a week. By the end of it I was tired and edgy.

I allowed two weeks to pass and poured a new glass of water. This time I paused on awakening to fill my mind with positive thoughts. I approached the glass of water brimming with optimism and said to it “Love, Peace, Calm”. This I repeated every day for a week and sure enough my week went better than during the previous experiment.

What was the final outcome of the experiment? The first glass of water seemed discolored and tasted tepid and stale at the end of the week. It was unpleasant to drink and I felt slightly nauseous afterwards. The second glass of water exposed to loving emotions was fresh and tasted good. I felt no ill effects. As compelling as it seemed it was also inconclusive.

Obviously my experiment was not undertaken using scientific rigor. Any number of variables could have affected the outcome. The fact remain however that if we go through life carrying negative emotions such as Hate it does affects our mental and physical health. In turn Hate cascades in to every aspect of our lives, affecting our relationships and our potential. Hate literally poisons life.

“Hate begets hate; violence begets violence; toughness begets a greater toughness. We must meet the forces of hate with the power of love.” – Martin Luther King

 

Power of Love

As children we learn to Love before we learn to Hate. Within our true self resides unbounded Love. That is why when we carry Hate we know that it is not who we are. It feels unnatural and heavy like a sickness within us. The feeling of “righteous indignation” and anger it gives us is shallow and leaves us feeling hollow and in conflict with who we truly are.

When we open our eyes to the illusion of Hate, it becomes exposed for what it is. Hate is a wall that separates us completely from our inner divine more than any emotion. Hate separates us from our true nature and from other people. Like a cancer it grows and ultimately it destroys us from the inside out. If you strike with hatred in your heart it will stay with you forever like a dark stain.

Love conquers Hate. It was an act of Love that redeemed and saved Anakin from his living hell. Love stayed Luke’s hand from inflicting a fatal blow on Ben Solo. Luke invited Kylo Ren to strike him down but warned him to do so with Hate would afflict him forever. Perhaps Love will be the final act which will save Kylo Ren and bring order to the Force.

 

“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule” – Buddha

 

I’m done with Hate and you should be too. Hate begets hate. Love begets love. Meditate on that.

Ghosts

12 Step Jedi Force, Love, Spirituality, Uncategorized

 

“You have grown strong and powerful, just as I imagined.” – Qui-Gon Jinn’s Force Ghost appearing to Anakin (“Ghosts of Mortis”, The Clone Wars)

 

“Ah, Skywalker. Missed you, have I” – Yoda’s Force Ghost appearing to Luke (The Last Jedi).

 

Ghosts exist. I believe they do because I’ve seen them. There was an apparition I saw as a child when I was kept at a Catholic Home for boys. I saw another in a home for wards of the state when I was twelve. On both occasions the figures seemed to pass completely oblivious to my presence. I was wide awake when I saw these apparitions and remember how the room was cold before and during. The first was a Nun in an old habit; she stood as if in prayer, her face was down, I blinked and she was gone. The second was a shadow of a man who seemed to drift like grey smoke across the room before vanishing.

I don’t remember being scared when I saw them. I was upset and deeply sad. The figures seemed to imbue a deep sense of melancholy. Perhaps they were real maybe they weren’t. In the orphanage we also played with Ouija boards and scared ourselves silly with our imaginations. The region in which the old children’s home was built had many Ghost stories. In such an environment it was easy to imagine what was not there.

 

 

Sensitive

Many years later I learned that my sister was sensitive and told me she had seen Ghosts her entire life. They didn’t scare her at all and never had.  To this day she practices as a psychic medium and has investigated Ghosts, Poltergeists and other phenomenon. Some of her “cases” have turned out to have a rational explanation. Others have been very strange. I’ve seen her bring a sense of relief to people who thought they were losing their minds. It’s amazing what a few words and some burning sage can do for a family’s sense of sanity.

When my daughter turned eight she began reporting that there were “others” in our house. I had to admit at the time I did find a few things odd. There were smells such as old pipe tobacco. Batteries would go flat in devices soon after being replaced. Objects would go missing and then reappear in odd places or not at all. Doors would open and curtains would move although there was not the slightest breeze. There were cold patches and sometimes the house just felt cold. I thought I saw shadows.

According to our daughter there was a boy she spoke to, a sad lady and a tall angry man whom were both silent. I asked her to draw them and she drew a boy with a white shirt, black trousers held up with braces. She drew a large happy smile on a wide face. In the bubble and stick fashion, she drew a thin woman with a long black dress that went to her neck. The man had a vest, a long mustache, a pipe and a large hat. The man had an angry face.

Of course I was skeptical. I had been trained to be. A degree in science demanded empirical evidence. I wanted to believe that such things were not really possible. The supernatural might be fanciful or hypothetical, but not indisputable. Without empirical evidence based on quantifiable data derived from replicable experimentation one could entertain that Ghosts might exist but still hold a healthy amount of skepticism.

 

 

Voices

We went to see a psychic medium that has a reputation of being anything but a charlatan. I was impressed the moment I saw him. For a start the man looked extremely fit and well groomed. Wearing smart jeans, a shirt and leather jacket he met us cordially. I was expecting some sort of facade and a bit of melodrama but this medium was just an every day guy. The sort of guy who barbecues on the weekend, goes to football matches and drinks beer.

Our Medium explained that he had been able to see Ghosts since he was a child and could get impressions from them sometime faint, sometime strong. Our visit would allow him to determine if there was anything attached to us “psychically”. Whether we were haunted or not.

We were instructed to keep our answers to questions as yes or no in order to reduce any suspicion of mentalism or “fishing for answers”. He also warned us we could go home empty handed if he failed to “channel” anything.

Without much effort he gave me a run down on my personal history, my dead parents, my fears and he pretty well told me without saying it aloud that I was alcoholic and headed for a fall. He told me that I was perched on a wall waiting to either topple to oblivion or fall in to the arms of safety and sanity. I could feel panic and denial welling inside of me. He sensed that and moved on.

Touching the right side of his head he told me that I had had a major operation and had actually been pushed “from the other side” to seek help when I’d started noticing symptoms instead of ignoring them. This floored me. It was true that I had had a tumor growing in my head. It was quite large and the specialist had told me if I had left it another month I would have probably suffered a stroke and died. The Medium said “second chance” with a blank face as if he was remembering something. I looked at him strangely, indeed I had seen the experience as a “second chance” at the time. The problem of course is that I had not embraced it and was soon drinking heavily again after a short pause.

 

 

Glimpses

The conversation turned to our house. The Medium would pause and sort of look up or to one side. Once or twice he seemed to not even to be there but in some sort of trance. We had not mentioned we had children but he told us that we had “entities” in our house and that our young daughter could see them and had interacted with a “child spirit”. Sensing our alarm he told us not to worry. The spirits were harmless and tied to the house or rather the land. The way we view time is not how time is. Reality is an illusion and sometimes, depending on things we don’t understand, our dimension touches the next.

This didn’t reassure us much and we asked about a cleansing to which he replied it could be done but not by him. He went on to say that the spirit who was “looking over me” when I was sick was my mother. He said that she was also “watching over” our children. Soon after a subtle change came over his face as if a curtain had come down and the Medium announced that the meeting was over.

It’s an understatement to say that I had trouble seeing the world the same way after that brief visit. Was it all real? Had I been played and fleeced out of my money? If it were true then everything I thought about reality was up for debate. My mind reeled and everywhere I looked I saw Ghosts hiding in shadows. I needed a stiff drink.

 

 

Smudging

A couple of weeks later I called my sister and she came over. I explained some of the events that had taken place but omitted our meeting with the Medium or any specific details. It was the middle of the day and she walked though the house pausing in our daughter’s room a little longer. Finally she reported that there was family tied to the house. The land the house sat on had been a farm. The farmer had been cruel to his family and had died in an accident. The woman and child had lived out their lives.

With sage in hand she walked from room to room, trailing smoke, inviting the entities to “go to the light”. I watched with fascination. Sure enough a peace seemed to fall over the house. It felt completely different. From that day there were no further “disturbances”. Whatever had been there was gone and I had to admit I was sort of sad about it. The house was clear but a dark shadow fell over me. I responded with alcohol.

 

 

“Second Chances”

As the Medium predicted my “second chance” soon ran out and I hit rock bottom. I realized when it happened what it meant. Ghosts of the past held me down. I felt myself sink in to a dark place and was utterly haunted. I could take my real “second chance” now and climb out to safety or I could fall to oblivion and never emerge. Doing so required a type of Faith and belief in something that cannot be proved through empirical science. By that stage, I already knew that. If anything the last few years had taught me was to keep an open mind, even if it meant accepting there is more than we can see and measure.

 

“No live organism can continue to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality” – The Haunting of Hill House

 

 

The Red Door

Recently I decided to watch the Netflix series The Haunting of Hill House. I’ve always been a fan of psychological supernatural movies. There are few that rank as truly great. The Haunting (1963) and The Legend of Hell House (1973) are both timeless classics.

I have to admit that the new Netflix release of a retelling of Shirley Jackson’s Hill House story was excellent. The experience was not unlike jumping into some Rabbit Hole. Over ten episodes the series explores the dark inner psyche of a family haunted by events that occurred a quarter of a century earlier. Against the brooding backdrop of Hill House, a short and terrifying childhood summer is played out. There are secrets and the house  is calling them home.

The series was compelling and terrifying not so much for the Ghosts, which there are many, but because it was a reminder that people suffer the Ghosts of their pasts and fears. Eventually one must return to face them. Doors that are locked and contain sinister and dark secrets must be opened. Sometimes we must peer in to the dark recesses of our soul. In order to be free we must confront our darkest and most terrifying fears.

 

“A ghost can be a lot of things. A memory, a daydream, a secret. Grief, anger, guilt. But, in my experience, most times they’re just what we want to see.” – The Haunting of Hill House

 

 

Force Ghosts

Why is it that the “Force Ghosts” of Star Wars aren’t scary? Even Casper the Friendly Ghost was a little creepy. The story goes that when Jesus first appeared to his disciples after the resurrection they were terrified to see him returned from the grave and walking among the living. Any manifestation of the dead is naturally disconcerting. Cultures demand that the dead stay dead. Ghosts are not welcome.

I’ve learned that Ghosts are not scary (unless we want them to be) but they are definitely not something you want to turn a corner and see standing there. So why is no one concerned with “Force Ghosts”? After all they have all the trade mark features of a Ghost. They shimmer, glow pale and appear out of nowhere and start dispensing practical philosophy, yet they comfort those they appear to. If Socrates were to appear again in Athens and start approaching people the city would lose its mind and try to evict him.

 

“Dreams they’re like an ocean and the big dreams can spill out sometimes” – The Haunting of Hill House

 

 

Visions

“Force Ghosts” are a product of fiction obviously. The religious equivalent would be called “Visions”. Most people who have claimed to have had visions of Mary, Jesus, Saints or departed relatives reported feeling an overwhelming sense of love and peace. What causes these experiences is a matter for debate however there is no disputing the fact that visions have a lasting and often life changing effect on those who witness them.

“Force Ghosts” are the heavenly visitations to the Jedi. The “Force Ghosts” are the spiritual experiences that guide the Jedi from the edge of the Dark Side and back to the Light. The “Force Ghosts” appear because they are summoned in some way by those that need them and they change those they visit in profound ways.

 

“Fear is the relinquishment of logic, the willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns…” – The Haunting of Hill House

 

“White Light”

Occasionally I run into people I haven’t seen since I got sober. They give me strange look. The comment I get is that I have changed and somehow different. They remark how fit and healthy I look but there is something else they can’t quite name, something intangible.

When people learn that I no longer drink they ask what bought it on. It’s very hard to explain “what happened” to anyone who has not hit rock bottom and had a spiritual experience. To try is to risk being labelled a religious nut. Its also hard to articulate to those that have had a similar experience. Words can’t really describe it. Whether it’s a “burning white light” experience or something that happens at a deeper level the end result is that there is no seeing the world the same way ever again. Everything changes.

The only way to describe what happened to is that in a flash I felt I was catapulted to an elevated level of consciousness. It felt as if I were inside of me but at the same time outside of me and looking down at me. I was had a clear vision of who I was at that moment and a vision of what I could become. I sat perched on a wall between heaven and hell. There was no doubt in my mind I could topple either way. At some deeper level I reached out to whatever spiritual source there was and grabbed the flimsy reed that was offered. I knew at that moment the ultimate truth; there is nothing to fear but fear itself and the fear was gone. So were the Ghosts.

 

“…But so, it seems, is love. Love is the relinquishment of logic the willing relinquishing of reasonable patterns. We yield to it or we fight it. But we cannot meet it halfway…” – The Haunting of Hill House

 

 

Impressions

I’ve learned that it is rarely the “Ghosts” of departed souls that haunt us. Certainly the memory of those who have passed will linger in mind and subconsciousness. It is not unusual for people to speak to the dearly departed, it’s normal. We can find solace and comfort feeling that not even death can separate us from those that we love.  More often it is an impression, a word, a thought or a memory that materializes like a phantom in our mind. We can see it clearly as if it were there in front of us. For a moment we are projected through time and place to that moment. Like a Ghost it begins to fade and then vanish. We are left with the feeling like you get when you come out of a dream. There was a truth, clarity and enlightenment in that moment and then it is gone beyond recall.

Perhaps that is what the “Force Ghosts” of Star Wars represent. They symbolize the resolving of inner conflict and the realization of a deeper truth or a moment of joy. At the moment when Luke feels the most vulnerable and has the greatest doubts born of fear and anguish he is centered and given courage and guidance by the vision and words of Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi. In his happiness Luke also see’s his Father and his former mentors smiling down on him approvingly on Endor.

 

“…Without it (Love), we cannot continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of absolute reality” – The Haunting of Hill House

 

 

Believe or Not

Whether you believe in Ghosts or not and care for Ghost stories or not, all people are visited by Ghosts of some form. The very act of living allows them to permeate our lives in every way. I’m still visited by the Ghosts of my past but I don’t let them affect me. They serve as reminders of where I have come from. I acknowledge them and let them go. They appear and fade away and I know they are impressions. I sometimes speak to my dead relatives and ancestors. Perhaps they hear me, maybe they don’t. It comforts me the same way the apparition of Yoda and disembodied voice of Obi-wan Kenobi comforted Luke.

I also believe in Ghosts, the “active” type that stare out of windows in darkened houses, the “residual” Ghosts that play out their lives and deaths like some old movie reel on a constant loop. The “phenomena” Ghost Hunters seek out in cold and desolate places at the dead of night. Ghosts do exist, in our minds and in the world. I don’t doubt it for a second.

 

“Silence lay steadily against the wood and stone of Hill House. And those who walk there walk together.” – Steven Crain “The Haunting of Hill House”

Abandoned

12 Step Jedi Destiny, Forgiveness, Love

Image Source: http://afisher.com.au/

Asajj

“You’ve told me your existence has been nothing but pain and loss. Never feeling secure. Never having a home. You deserve so much, and I can get it for us. The life we’ll be able to have together” – Quinlan Vos

“What kind of life will that be, Quinlan? The kind where we’re slaves to our hatred? Our rage? That’s what the dark side made me. That’s what it does. Nothing is ever enough. You get more, and more, but you’re never happy. It’s a trap baited with all the things you want most in life—and it’s not worth living. I already left that behind.“― Asajj Ventress “Star Wars: Dark Disciple”

 

Padawan

Asajj Ventress was a Bounty Hunter, an Assassin and a Sith Apprentice. Before all of that she was a Jedi. As an infant she was taken from her home planet Dathomir by a Bounty Hunter and enslaved. During a raid by Pirates her owner was killed and using Force powers to defend herself she attracted the attention of a Jedi. The Jedi Ky Narec took Ventress to the temple and she began her apprenticeship as a Jedi. The training helped awaken her force powers which were very powerful.

The Jedi Narec was like a father to her as well as a mentor and she loved him.  Years later during a battle with Pirates the Jedi was killed and Ventress deserted the Jedi Order feeling that it had betrayed her Master. Filled with grief and anger she began to turn towards the dark side.  Eventually she caught the attention of Count Dooku and was trained and indoctrinated in to the Sith. Due to her powers and hatred for the Jedi, Ventress became Count Dooku’s favored apprentice.

 

The Apprentice

Asajj felt at last she was home and she served her Master well. Her powers and skills grew and she became an accomplished Assassin. Many times she came close to killing both Obi-wan Kenobi and Anakin Sywalker under the orders of Count Dooku. The time came when Darth Sidious began to notice Asajj Ventris and the bond that existed between Master and Apprentice. Testing the loyalty of Count Dooku, Darth Sidious ordered Asajj Ventriss be killed. Reluctantly Dooku agreed and he ordered her execution however Asajj managed to escape and returned to her home world of Dathomir where the Witch Order of the Night Sisters reigned.

 

The Witch

Deeply enraged by her betrayal, Asajj attempted to extract her revenge by infiltrating Count Dooku’s fortress and attempting to assassinate him. She was aided by the Night Sisters magic and the help of a slave assassin Savage Oppress, a monster created by the Night Sisters spiritual leader. During the battle Savage Oppress turned on them both forcing Asajj to flee in to hiding.

Sought by Dooku, Ventress was eventually traced back to her home planet on Dathomir. A retaliatory strike was launched on the Dathomir Fortress killing all of the Night Sisters in the ensuing battle. Once again Asajj survived and found her self alone.

 

The Redeemed

In the following years Assaj changed. Becoming a Bounty Hunter and Mercenary she found herself forming alliances with the Jedi as they fought a common enemy. Ventress saved Obi-wan Kenobi and helped Ahsako Tano after she was framed for bombing the Jedi Temple. It was Quinlan Vos the maverick Jedi Master who ultimately redeemed Ventress through love. Forming a team in a quest to finally destroy Count Dooku the Jedi and the Mercenary became lovers.

During an attempt on Dooku, Vos was captured by the separatists and brutally tortured and brainwashed, he fell to the Dark Side. Finally it was Asajj who saved Quinlan Vos as she sacrificed her own life to save him. Vos returned from the Dark Side renouncing the Sith. The Jedi honored Assaj Ventris and she was buried on Dathomir.

 

Dependency

The tragic story of Assaj Ventress follows a familiar pattern of an orphan who is forced to live a life of codependency and abuse. Things could easily have been different but fate played her a cruel hand. In the end her true hidden spirit shined through and redeemed her. For many, Asajj Ventress is a “villain” in the Star Wars saga. I view her as an enigma and a largely misunderstood character. Asajj serves as a reminder that we should never give up on people, they can come back. I know I did.

 

Orphaned

Separated from her family and bereft of a heritage and parents all Asajj knew was the hard and cruel life of a slave. Nevertheless she was dependent on her owner and when he was killed in a Pirate raid she lost the only carer she had ever known. Adopted by the Jedi she found happiness and purpose at last and with it her Force powers blossomed. Tragically her Jedi Master was killed and once again she was left an Orphan.

Alone Assaj became bitter and angry. She blamed the Jedi Order for the death of her Master. That anger and hatred was exploited by Count Dooku. In the same way that extremist organizations and gangs attract young and vulnerable people to their ranks, the Sith found a prime candidate in Asajj to do their bidding.

 

Abandoned

Eventually Ventress was betrayed by the Sith. This is also common in extremist organizations and cults. People are brainwashed and used until they are killed or betrayed. The fall was a shock to Assaj and she returned to her home world of Dathomir, a place she had never known and met her mother, the Night Sister leader Mother Talzin. Among her sisters on Dathomir she at last found a home where she was valued and belonged. This home was soon also taken away.

Drifting in the grey world of the Bounty Hunter and loyal to none Asajj began to realize that the absolutes she had believed in were invalid. She had been full of rage and hatred for years and it had been used by the Sith for their own purposes. Once her use had been exhausted, she was discarded like a broken tool. Ventress realized that she had been dependent on a lie and the loyalty she imagined did not exist. Even her own Mother, Talzin, abandoned her following the massacre of the Night Sisters on Dathomir.

 

Adrift

“None of this was my choice, I never asked to be ripped away from my home, from my family. You’ll never know what its like” – Pluma Sodi

“I wish I didn’t, but I do” – Assaj Ventress “The Clone Wars: Bounty”

 

At last Asajj began to form her own identity and found her place in the madness that surrounded her. Despite her previous allegiance to the Dark Side she learned compassion for others and the ability to work for mutual benefit. The Jedi had been her sworn enemies, now she no longer saw them as such and was willing to work with them. In Quinlan Vos she found a kindred soul and shared her knowledge of the dark arts of her people. Through shared experience and hardship they became lovers and through that love the darkness that resided within her gave way to light and hope. She was home at last.

 

Freedom

The final act of Asajj Ventress is a remarkable chapter in the Star Wars saga and symbolizes the salvation that later redeemed Anakin. In an effort to save Vos from succumbing to the Dark Side, Ventress battled with Count Dooku and willingly sacrificed her life so that her lover should live.

That act alone redeemed Asajj Ventress and bought Vos back from the Dark Side, saving him. Asajj Ventress was a Jedi who had fallen from the path. Desperate to find meaning in her life and to make someone pay for the pain she had suffered through life she had fallen to dark emotions and lived a personal hell. Forgiveness, sacrifice for others and ultimately love redeemed her and bought her back to the light. She did this by herself and it freed her.

Remember, no one holds the key to your own freedom and salvation but you.

Jedi have compassion

12 Step Jedi 12 Steps, Compassion, Emotional Sobriety, Love, Uncategorized, Virtues

Compassion is central to a Jedi’s life. We need to have love and compassion for ourselves first and foremost, and then let that compassion gravitate outwards to the whole creation.

(33 Jedi Traits)

Metta

Metta is the Buddhist practice of “Loving Kindness”. Buddhists believe that compassion for all living things is vital as all life is precious. With compassion and loving-kindness the karmic consequences from past lives can be reversed and the Adherent can become Bodhisattva, an “awakened one”.

The  Bodhisattva postpones their transcendence to Nirvana for the sake of compassion for all life. Imagine that, to willingly seek to take on all the worlds suffering. These Buddhists feel compassion for all life but with that happy smile and serene face you see the Dalai Lama wearing. They take the “passion” out of “compassion” and replace if with loving kindness.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

 

Stoic Compassion

Many people in the west confuse the word compassion with “pity”. Some view compassion as an emotional weakness and certainly not a virtue believing that empathy is more appropriate. Empathy is viewed as a rational response to the misfortune of others rather than the emotion of compassion. The Stoics viewed “simple” compassion as a failing. At the same time they advocated it was a duty of all to help those in need. A Stoic form of compassion which was vital and rendered without passion was suggested.

The world was viewed by the Stoics as an interconnected system and therefore it is in the best nature for people to get along and work together. It therefore pays to be altruistic and show understanding and empathy. Sympathy and pity helps no one.

 

“What brings no benefit to the hive brings none to the bee” – Marcus Aurelius

 

Loving Kindness

The idea of compassion in the East is very different to that in the west but surprisingly similar to the Stoic view. Compassion as Metta, wishes all to be free from suffering, oneself included. Loving kindness can radiate out from the individual to encompass the entire Universe in compassion; a simple desire that all sentient beings may find their way out of suffering.

The statement “Jedi have compassion” therefore agrees with the Buddhist concept of Metta. Jedi are objective in their response to the suffering of individuals but desire peace and happiness for all. Jedi resist feeling the suffering of others. They do not allow compassion to affect their judgement by emoting with the victim. Jedi provide support to those that need it, they render aid and defend the weak however they do not instantly fall in to the trap of irrational responses that lead them on a crusade.

 

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” – Dalai Lama

 

Bleeding Hearts

How often have we turned on the news and been confronted with tragedy and injustice? We are bombarded with social media posts that show images of suffering and trauma. Floods and earth quakes, war and famine, poverty and social injustice seem to fly at us from every corner of the world. Hundreds of funding campaigns and aid organizations compete for charity from people who feel the dreadful pangs of compassion and pity but feel powerless to do anything.

Large non-governmental organizations have grown extremely rich on the good will and compassion of people who want to help those in need. Many of these compassionate people think that giving a few dollars to the poor or needy will help them out. But is this really an altruistic act of giving or a selfish attempt to feel better? Does giving in the way we give help any one? I have seen a culture of dependency and entitlement emerge in communities where handouts are the primary form of support.

 

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” – Maimonides

Think before Leaping

Three years ago I watched with horror as Islamic State swept in to Iraq and started a genocidal campaign of slaughter of the Yezidi people. The Yezidis are a peaceful indigenous people who have somehow survived centuries of persecution and kept their unique and ancient religion intact. In 2014 the world watched on as genocide took place. I was overwhelmed with compassion and desperately wanted to do something. I agonized over whether to go to join the building resistance. What could anyone do if the World Governments did nothing? This was one tragedy that did not even earn a hashtag.

As Jedi we must decide how to best support those in need, render aid and defend the weak. We must recognize that to act instinctively on compassion alone may not be the best way. If we see someone drowning in dangerous surf do we immediately leap in to save them? Our instincts would drive us to risk our life especially if it were a child. How would our compassion for the drowning person help if we also succumbed to drowning or also needed rescuing? Jedi have compassion but think before leaping in. A dead hero serves no one.

 

12 Step Compassion

I felt a different type of compassion the first time I went to a 12 Step Meeting. Someone invited me to share and I told my story. There were nods of heads and knowing looks as I recounted my story of misery and woe. I was sort of expecting to hear clucks of sympathy and a few words of pity but there were none.

The speaker thanked me for my discourse and invited another person to speak. I listened and heard a story far worse than mine. My face burned red with embarrassment and I wondered if the people there thought I was being a bit over dramatic. Compared to the people who had lost everything I had got off pretty lightly.

After the meeting people milled around and I looked for my escape. An older guy who had told a real sad story came over and introduced himself. He was joined by a lady who had made a mess of things in the past and was estranged from her kids but was recovering and held no grudges. They were smiling and joking and asked whether I had enjoyed the meeting. They asked me how I was doing and implored me not to drink. “Just for one day” they said; “take it one day at a time, one step at a time”. I felt reassured.

These people were expressing Metta, not compassion. There was genuine concern for my well being however they were not trying to tell me what to and did not offer any sympathy. They were going to show me the way but no one was going to carry me. They reminded me I was not alone but on a life raft with other people working together towards the same end. In order to love others I had to learn to love myself first.

None of us are victims deserving pity unless we choose to be. We can let go of that and cultivate Metta for ourselves and others.

 

“For all that I do, whether on my own or assisted by another, should be directed to this single end, the common benefit and harmony.” – Marcus Aurelius

 

Obi-wan’s Compassion

During his captivity under the Zygerrian Slavers, Obi-wan Kenobi was almost broken. Obi-wan suffered from a crisis of compassion. The more he tried to help his fellow slaves the more they were punished by their captors. As he rushed to intervene to stop an act of cruelty, a guard would rush in and take a whip to him and then punish the slave even more.

The cruelty to others was too much for Obi-wan, he suffered because he could not help and when he tried it made matters worse. Eventually the other slaves shunned Obi-wan telling him to keep away. After the second battle of Christophsis, Obi-wan also suffered the emotional toll of having so many friends killed around him.

Obi-wan had a compassionate heart, unlike Yoda he was not always able to see clearly beyond his concern and anxiety for the suffering of others. The fall of his student and friend Anakin on the lava flows of Mustafar almost drove Obi-wan to despair such was his overwhelming compassion and grief. Being over anxious for others does not help anyone, least of all ourselves.

“Wisdom, compassion, and courage are the three universally recognized moral qualities of men” – Confucius

To Suffer or to Heal

The word compassion means “with passion” or “to suffer with”. Anakin and Luke both felt uncontrolled compassion for others and allowed that emotion to cloud their judgement. Compassion ultimately led Anakin to the Dark Side and almost destroyed Luke as well as he attempted to rescue his friends on Cloud City.

Empathy on the other hand allowed Luke to put aside his passion and spare his Father. In an instant Luke was awakened that he did not need to have conflicting passions. Luke chose to understand the suffering of Darth Vader and put an end to it. Luke refused to feed the fear, anger and hatred that Darth Sidious demanded. Through loving kindness he defeated the Sith Lord and redeemed his Father.

“Passion yet serenity” – Jedi Code

Jedi Compassion

We can react with blind compassion, to do so can ignite an emotion, often raw and irrational. To respond with empathy is to use one’s heart with a brain attached. By acting with loving kindness, Metta, we combine heart, soul and mind together in a mindful way.

We recognize the suffering of others and willingly take that suffering from them. Instead of tying that suffering to ourselves we let it go. This leads to healing. We use empathy and mindful action to make a difference. We can stand in a storm of tragedy and chaos and not let it affect our serenity.

This is the true nature of Jedi compassion. .

“Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life.” – Anakin

Love

12 Step Jedi Attachment, Control, Dark Side, Ego, Force, Love, Relationships, Uncategorized

“Attachment is forbidden. Possession is forbidden. Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life. So you might say, that we are encouraged to love” – Anakin “Episode II: Attack of the Clones”.

One Word

Of all the words in existence the the word used to mean “Love” carries the most meaning to people.

What is Love? What does it mean? Countless songs, poems and stories have been written about it. Most of us intuitively know it but few can articulate in words what it is even to themselves. We know how it feels and we also know that Love comes in different flavors.

The Fictional Jedi were forbidden to love another in the ordinary sense. They were in fact expected to Love all sentient beings. The key role of the Jedi was service to others. Buddhism carries the same precept called “Loving Kindness” (Mettā). A Buddhist seeking enlightenment does so for the benefit of all sentients, so that they may be released from samsara, the eternal karmic cycle of life and death. Enlightenment is not sought for the benefit of the Bodhisattva but for all to ease suffering (Dukkha). Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi demonstrated a similar commitment when they abandoned the “crude matter” of their bodies and surrendered their souls, bringing balance to the Force.

The goal of Jedi Philosophy is to provide the path for people seeking to improve themselves. We realize that the way to achieve fulfillment and happiness is through service to others. Selfless service and giving of self requires Love not love.

“World betterment through self betterment” – Kevin Trout “The Jedi Circle”

Love and love

Love with a capital “L” is unconditional Love. It is the Love that transcends personal concerns and the Ego. Love is all embracing, liberating, all forgiving, all encompassing, omnipotent and omnipresent. It binds all of creation together. It atones completely and sets free. All life is an expression of the Force. Love is the Force.

The Love of a mother for her child, the love of sacrificing one’s life for another, the love between comrades in arms and the deep and enduring love between two people that transcends the physical and life. That is unconditional Love.

“Are you allowed to love? I thought that was forbidden for a Jedi.” – Padme Amidala “Episode II: Attack of the Clones”

When Padmé Amidala challenged Anakin on his capacity to Love another she was right but she was also wrong. Anakin could not attach to carnal love but he could express unconditional Love.

Love with a lower case “l” is called ordinary love. It binds, controls and fears loss. Jealousy is harbored in ordinary love and grasping attachment keeps it moored there. Ordinary love cannot sail, it is not free and it is controlled by the Ego.

Love as Suffering

It was the ordinary love that destroyed Anakin. The attachment and fear of losing Padme, his wife and the anger that burned in him was exploited by the Dark Lord. Unconditional Love would have allowed Anakin to set Padme free and defeat Darth Sidious. Instead he chose to control something that cannot be controlled and lost it all.

Anakin also loved Obi-Wan Kenobi like a Father. Perhaps because he never had a Father and had lost his mother Anakin grasped at anything that gave him meaning. It was a need that consumed him and others. As an Orphan myself I can appreciate the pain, fear and anger, the grasping attachment.

“Why do I get the feeling you’re going to be the death of me?” – Obi-Wan Kenobi

“Don’t say that Master… You’re the closest thing I have to a father… I love you. I don’t want to cause you pain. ” – Anakin “Episode III: Revenge of the Sith”

Obi-Wan Kenobi also loved Anakin but he was able to fight him because of that Love. I can only surmise that Obi-Wan’s pity and compassion for what little remained of his friend prevented him from slaying Anakin on the lava flows of Mustafa. Anakin was dead already and only Darth Vader remained. Obi-Wan felt unconditional Love for what was left of his beloved friend and could not take Life in such a way no matter how twisted and evil it was.

In the fight between Love and Hate, Love will prevail.

In the final confrontation between Luke and Darth Vader on the Death Star II it was unconditional Love that reunites Father and Son and destroyed the Dark Lord. Love does conquer all.

False Love

Alcoholism was the Dark Side in my life. Love was a word I used but it was not real. We may feel what we believe is Love but it is only an object that we desire and grasp on to. Love that is grasped and bound cannot breath and it cannot last.

“I can’t live without you”, “I need you”, “You complete me, I’m nothing without you”, “You belong to me”, “I hurt you because I love you” were the kinds of words I used. In reality I only loved myself and the bottle. I would choose booze over the feelings of others. Love in thought does not match Love in action.

We weep at love lost because it was never about the other person but what we wanted and were attached to. Addiction does not allow unconditional Love to flow. It stifles it.

“If you love someone, set them free.” – Richard Bach

Love sets Free

I found Unconditional Love in the most unexpected place. In the mental and psychic black hold of “Rock Bottom” I imagined myself dying in suffering, self pity and self hate. I called for help and my Higher Power saved me and set me free from my addiction. It was unconditional Love that bought me back to sanity and in to recovery.

The feeling glowed within me for days. I felt like I had the deepest Love for all things. Every rock, tree and animal I saw, every person I passed I felt unconditional Love for. I believe I had transcended to another dimension of existence. At the fundamental level we are spiritual beings having a human experience and we are all made of unconditional Love.

In the rooms you feel compassion and Love for the fellow suffering alcoholic. You feel it when you see those that suffer. It is not pity, it is unconditional Love. Our Ego is the only filter, the only limitation to that pure Love.

In recovery we learn who we were, who we are and who we will likely be if we stay on the beam. Love like spiritually is a personal journey. We can seek advice on affairs of the heart but it is up to each of us how to use our intrinsic capacity to love. Love is who you are so you can’t go wrong.

I believe that Love never dies. We take it with us. The ego dies and so does ordinary love but Love with a capital L is eternal.

“Love, not time, heals all wounds” – Anonymous