Jedi are Humble

12 Step Jedi Gratitude, Humility, Uncategorized, Virtues

Jedi are humble, and believe that they can always work on improving themselves.

Jedi are against being arrogant and consider arrogance to be a flaw.  Jedi embrace humility, and do not consider themselves better than others. Jedi don’t claim to know it all, and humbly believe in training and in personal growth.

(33 Jedi Traits)

Often it takes a great fall to build someone up. Arrogance never holds up when it matters. When life becomes difficult and we are presented with challenges that take us to the edge of our limits and beyond it is humility that gets us through. Sometimes the hardest and most rewarding lesson in life is realizing we don’ have all the answers. That we are flawed, vulnerable, fragile and very human.

“Like this cup, you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you wisdom unless you first empty your cup” – Nyogen Senzaki

Zero

In the Army we were humbled during the first days of selection. I remember the biggest and boldest candidates; the one’s with the big mouths and egos to match. Within weeks they had grown quiet. Some had silently departed never to be seen again, singled out by the Training Staff as “unsuitable”. Those that were humbled remained and became a part of the team.

Cold, tired, beaten and miserable and stripped down to nothing we were all reminded that everyone starts at zero. We were all the same, nothing. No one was better than anyone else and as far as the Training Cadre were concerned we were all less than the dirt on their boots until we did our time and proved ourselves. Five months later following graduation the same Instructors shook our hands and shared a beer with us. This is how something is broken down and built back up in to something better. How a cup is emptied and filled back up. The key is humility.

“Throw out your conceited opinions, for it is impossible for a person to begin to learn what he thinks he already knows” – Epictetus

Arrogance

Arrogance is a flaw which is striking and obvious. It demands attention and usually gets the wrong type. Everyone recognizes it and few people admire it as a trait. Most will avoid those that show arrogance. Eventually a tall poppy must come down either through self knowledge or by the will of others.

Add alcohol to self delusion and arrogance is created. Not an arrogance that comes with over confidence but a smug, self righteous arrogance that is built up to put others down so that we may feel better ourselves. It is a house made of cards. Deep down we know it is false. We don’t add up to much and have turned to alcohol to get that feeling of self worth.

“Arrogance diminishes wisdom” – The Clone Wars

The Golden Virtue

Humility is a virtue. It is probably the greatest virtue of all and is the foundation on which all others are built. Many people imagine that humility means self deprecation or putting one’s self down. To do so would be anything but humble. Being humble is having a healthy appreciation of one’s worth and ability without putting one’s self above others. It is being able to recognize that we may be better than others in some respects but that does not make us better people.

We only look down to people when we are helping them up. We never compare ourselves to others in order to feel superior. If we compare ourselves with anyone it is ourselves with who we were yesterday. We can critique ourselves without self pity and recognize our own flaws and work on them. The constant aim is self improvement over time. We do our best but we accept that perfection is unattainable, we can only progress.

 

“Without humility, courage is a dangerous game” – The Clone Wars

Keep Perspective

Jedi feel neither high or mighty nor low and inferior. To be Jedi is to simply to live in the manner that we feel is best while remaining true to our principles. There are no prizes for being Jedi as there are no special prizes for being sober. We simply get to live a life style that we choose and which costs us nothing. The reward is a chance of living a good life and having few regrets at the end of it.

Everyone is born the same and everyone must eventually die. When we were born not even our parents could know where we would end up or how far we might go. Of course they cared for our future and played their part but ultimately each person blazes their own trail through life. In death we are as equal as in birth. Our memories and our legacy remain but at the end of the day we all ultimately end up as humble dust. Even our most idolized heroes, celebrities and leaders must one day die and ultimately turn to dust like the rest of us.

“Both Alexander the Great and his mule keeper were both bought to the same place by death – they were either received into the all generative reason, or scattered among the atoms” – Marcus Aurelius

Use Things Love People

Always remember that the adage “the higher you climb the harder you fall” rings true. Through life people are watching. They either want to build you up or tear you down. If our identity and our self worth is attached to our title, our social standing, our inner circle, pay check, zip code or status then it will certainly take a beating if we lose some or all of them through the vicissitudes of life.

We should always recognize that all of these things are largely out of our control and can be taken away at any time. We can be left standing with nothing but the shirt on our back in very quick time. Enjoy what we have, while we have it but be grateful and remember that what the universe provides, it can just as easily take away.

 

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine” – Bruce Lee

There is nothing wrong with ambition or trying to get ahead. I for one want to go as far as I can in my career and in my personal development. I never want to stop learning and feel that improvement can always be made. There should be no desire to attain knowledge, skills or experience in order to look better than the next person, to feel superior. Those that do eventually awaken to disappointment and realize that they have lived only in order to impress people who ultimately don’t care. We only do these things in order to be better people and to serve others.

If you want to be truly humble; use things and love people. Fill your cup to share with others.

Experience

12 Step Jedi Humility, Training

 

During a lull in the battle to hold the planet Christophsis from an invading Separatist Droid Army, Ahsoka Tano is bought to Anakin Skywalker and introduced as his Padawan. Ahsoka Tano is spirited, feisty and keen, she is also trained. However she lacks experience and is seen as a burden by Anakin. Palmed off to Captain Rex, Ahsoka Tano learns that in order to survive as a Jedi she will need to benefit from the experience of others.

“So you’re a Captain and I’m a Jedi then technically I outrank you right?” – Ahsoka Tano to Captain Rex

“In my book, experience outranks everything” – Captain Rex, 501 Legion

“Then if experience outranks everything, I better start getting some” – Ahsoka Tano

The Value of Experience

The Jedi were seen a leaders and advisors not just in war but also in diplomatic and political spheres. Many would argue that the Jedi intrusion in to the governance of the Republic was akin to a theocracy. Interference by a religious elite at best. In fact it was no such thing.

The Jedi only offered their assistance to the Republic when it was asked. Jedi were skilled and experienced in diplomacy, etiquette, military strategy and organization and served the Republic. Jedi were invaluable as Advisors and Leaders. Most Jedi were also exceptional fighter pilots. What made the Jedi so invaluable was their versatility, discipline, mission mind set and most of all their experience. Jedi were doers. They learned by doing not by pretending and bluffing.

“The only source of knowledge is experience” – Albert Einstein

Inexperience

Experience and mastery was seen as vital to achieving Knighthood in the Jedi Order. The Jedi were a meritocracy; the Council assigned missions and tasks that matched the competency and experience of an individual. Throwing an inexperienced Jedi into a complex and dangerous mission was avoided until the Jedi was considered ready. This is an ideal we rarely see in the Real World.

Often we see people assume roles and responsibilities that surpass their experience. They may be qualified and have knowledge but they lack experience in application in the real world. Sometimes we also see people leap frog past others in rank or title. Through good political play, favoritism or sheer ambition they have ascended the ladder quickly.

“Experience is the teacher of all things” – Julius Caesar

Muppets

In the Army we had the type who had the rank but not the experience. We called them Muppets. They usually signaled their ineptitude eventually and were often “managed” out. In some cases truly incompetent individuals were given responsibilities that included leading men in to situations they barely understood let alone had experience in. Failure in that responsibility could cost lives.

Oftentimes the individuals who held on to their roles did so by getting their way and removing obstacles. Otherwise they were protected by the “Higher Ups” for reasons that included right family and schooling.

“You cannot create experience, you must undergo it” – Albert Camus

The Conscious Incompetent

In my unit I was trained as a corpsman. In the role of Patrol Medic my job was to attend to a squad. If someone got shot or kicked an IED the job fell on me. When I got back from the course I marched up to my Squad leader and told him I was qualified but inexperienced and in my view “not ready”. He thanked me for my honesty and said with time and confidence competency would come. “Just do your best and never be too proud to say you don’t know or to ask for help” he said.

The last comment was reference to some of the Officers who having been through University and Officer school considered themselves above asking ranks below for advice. They saw rank as more important than experience.

“Experience is the one thing you cannot get for nothing” – Oscar Wilde

The Evolution of Competency

In almost any group you get people who fall in to one of four stages of competency. There is the unconscious incompetent who does not know what he doesn’t know. In a high stakes game these guys are dangerous. They believe they know it already and have nothing more to learn. Certain Officers fell in to this category.

The conscious incompetent is the guy who knows what he doesn’t know and recognizes his limitations. I was that guy taking the job as Patrol Medic. Everyone was aware and while they weren’t happy they respected my right to ride with trainer wheels. I was given a chance to prove myself.

The conscious competent is the person who knows what he knows and is continuously learning to get better. We see demonstrated proficiency. The last stage is Mastery, this is the unconscious competent. The level of skill and experience surpasses proficiency. They have reached the upper percentile in expertise. People in this category actually don’t know how awesome they are at what they do.

“Experience is the most brutal teacher. But you learn, my God do you learn” – CS Lewis

Easy does it

In recovery it is important to know which stage in our evolution we are. By taking the view that one is ready to test the limits of their physical, mental and spiritual carrying capacity before they are ready is to risk failing in recovery. There is a reason we say “easy does it” and “one day at a time”. Recovery as in a profession or art is mastered over time, slowly and with experience.

Where are you at this moment? Are you competent? Do you have the experience required or is it built on over confidence? As my Sergeant said to me all those years ago, “don’t be too proud to admit you don’t know, don’t be too proud to ask for help”.

“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man” – Heraclitus

Tolerance

12 Step Jedi Humility, Learning, Objectivity, Principles, Uncategorized

“Remember, a Jedi fights only as a last resort. If you are forced to draw your lightsaber, you have already forfeited much of your advantage. A Jedi trusts the Force and at first seeks other ways to resolve problems: patience, logic, tolerance, attentive listening, negotiation, persuasion, calming techniques. But there are times when a Jedi must fight.“ – Luke Sywalker to Students

Higher Learning

Some time ago I was at a University during  its Open Day and I wandered from one tent stand to another. There were Philosophy and Political Groups to Religious and Sporting Clubs. A tent for sober and recovering students was parked next to a group calling itself “Party Hardy”. I enjoyed the appearance of harmony and tolerance on the campus. There were students wearing signs of religious affiliation and an Islamic students tent tended by young men in dish dash and prayer caps were serving Halal sausages to student wearing shorts and singlets.

I came across a tent stand that was occupied by a group that sit on the political spectrum well left of the middle. A large bearded guy with a Karl Marx T-shirt was standing next to a girl wearing a Hijab and a “Black Lives Matter” T-shirt. The guy saw me looking at the Posters decrying all the wrongs in the world from corporate power to American Imperialism and environmental destruction.

Seeing my attention he offered a newspaper and said “Hi”. On the cover was an article about the conflict in Syria. I paused there and he said something to the effect that “It was *expletive* terrible what is happening over there, Russia and Assad have started killing the Kurds”. My jaw dropped and I looked at him in amazement and asked “What? For real?”. This was a shock, did I miss something in the last 24 hours? The war in Syria moves and shifts at an incredible speed, alliances form and break up. The news is distorted and often fabricated. I spent a lot of time digesting news and sorting fact from fiction. If true, this was a serious development.

“Yeah Man *expletive* they dropped gas on the Kurds in Aleppo”, he said starting to get a little excited, “ *expletive* Russians, I *expletive* hate them”.

The penny dropped.

“Actually I said, that’s not right, last week there was a gas attack in Aleppo on the district held by the Kurds but the perpetrators were anti-Government Rebels holding East Aleppo, not Assad or the Russians”, I told him.

“That’s Bullshit” he replied, now looking at me with suspicion.

“No” I said “It was reported in many of the media outlets and by the Observatory for Human Right in Syria”

“What media?”, he asked “ *expletive* RT”?

“Yes, RT, Al Jazeera, Middle East eye and others”, I replied.

“RT and Fox man, that’s *expletive* Fake News, run by Putin and that stooge Trump”, he was getting a little red in the face, his voice was louder.

I made a comment that I knew people in Syria, western volunteers in the Kurdish militia, the YPG, and independent correspondents they had corroborated the story but the mainstream media had not picked it up.

At the mention of the YPG, the girl in the Hijab who had been standing to one side in silence, spoke up;

“The YPG?” she said “They are Terrorists, stealing land from Arabs, persecuting Muslims. They are worse than ISIS”, she pointed a finger at the sky.

“I’m sorry?” I asked rhetorically and replied;  “They have Arabs in their Forces, Christians too. They are socialists like you, don’t you support that”?

The bearded guy glared at me “They’re not Socialists Man, they’re puppets of Western Imperialism!”.

I was flabbergasted, these people are meant to be educated “But, the US supplies weapons to everyone in Syria fighting Assad or ISIL, even listed Terrorist groups”, I said and rattled off some names.

The lady’s  face grew darker as I spoke “The Kurds are racists and nationalists who oppress Arabs and Muslims on their own land!” she shouted “Anyone who supports them is an Islamophobe and a Racist”!

They both glared at  me like I was some sort of decayed trash. I was the enemy in their eyes. The symbol of what they hated. The conversation had ended. I gave him back his paper and moved on. I heard the girl say “Privileged White Asshole”  to her ginger haired white friend.

Tolerance is Being Heard

Once upon a time I had been politically active. I had considered myself a Socialist of the type that wanted to see the poor lifted up and conditions for blue collar workers improved. There had been the protests for the protection of Forests, nuclear disarmament and end of Apartheid in South Africa. We felt as if the causes were for everyone not just the few and our dreams were for a better future not a more divided one.

The protest movement was based on Love and Hope, not Fear and Anger. Now decades later I was in the same place I had walked in Protest as a naive activist complaining about intolerance and had just been called a “Privileged White Asshole” by a person who didn’t know me at all for expressing a view.  I thought about my childhood, the living in poor housing, the missed meals and forgotten Christmas’s. Going to school in threadbare clothes and worn out shoes. The years of struggling in alcoholism and the sting of shame at being broke all of the time. I felt like someone had kicked me in the groin. I never knew the privilege she was referring to.

How can someone judge  a person so blindly and so negatively when they don’t even know the person? We are taught that a person’s skin color, ethnicity and religion should not matter and that tolerance should be embraced. Yet at the same time the freedom of open dialogue and expression has been constrained to such a degree that to have an opinion is discouraged unless it is accepted as “politically correct”.  It occurred to me that there are people in the world on both extremes of the political spectrum who are intolerant of others beliefs and views. That not all people of Faith are tolerant of other Faiths. The world is more intolerant now than ever before and as a result people are lashing out.

“The highest result of education is tolerance” – Helen Keller

Opinions are not Facts

We believe what we want to believe and when evidence appears that contradicts that “sacred cow” we either revise our view point or we throw the shutters down. I’ve been called Islamophobic, Homophobic, Xenophobic, Sexist and Misogynist and a Russophile in my time. I would reject those charges, except I am quite fond of Russia and Russian women in particular.

The point is that we may not agree on certain points of view or opinions but we can allow dialogue and discussion that is informed, considerate and causes no harm to others. If one is to learn and expand their knowledge the opinions of others must be considered and evaluated in an objective and impartial manner. Throwing the shutters down makes no sense just because we disagree with someone on a point of view.

 

Tribal Warfare

A study published in the American Journal of Preventative Medicine looked at the phenomenon of Social Media and the death of debate. The results found that social interaction is now stymied by the emergence of strong divisions along the lines of opinion on social issues and politics.

A sort if Tribalism has emerged where a person is automatically judged, accepted or rejected as a human being based on their opinions on specific issues such as race, global warming, religion, gender equality or politics. Non conformance with the accepted dogma will result in a tirade of hate comments and possible online harassment. In the real world it can get you harassed,  bashed or worse.

The New Intolerance

The phenomenon has spread to Universities and High Schools where lecturers and teachers insist on certain views that are consistent with their own and penalize or ostracize students who question them. I’m reminded of my childhood when any expressed doubt of “original sin” or the holy trinity was met with a torrent of shrieking and admonishment from the Sisters who taught us. If you did not conform you were defective and to be punished.

Recently Universities such as Berkley and  Middlebury College were the scenes of riots as students forced the cancellation of lectures by visiting controversial figures. These were not preachers of radical ideology and extremism but academics who hold a position that is counter to the current opinion and ideology. The Higher schools of Learning are being sabotaged and opinion silenced by dissent, righteous anger and the threat of violence.

“Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one’s beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of other” – John F Kennedy

Bartolerance

Intolerance is a trait that becomes an alcoholic. Being an obstinate and recalcitrant bunch we tend to get impatient with people that don’t agree with our views. We quickly right off people, places and things that do not concur with our distorted view of reality. Intolerance keeps the Ego strong and provides enough resentment and belligerency to keep us in active alcoholism.

Once upon a time I was a bar philosopher and boozy political commentator, the debates were lively, if not slurred, but as far as I was concerned the other person had nothing to say. Only my opinion mattered but that did not stop me from buying rounds all night to keep the conversation going. Anyone who drank with me was alright in my opinion regardless of their views. I had a type of Bartolerance on opinions.

“Tolerance is the virtues of the man without convictions” – Gilbert K Chesterton

Keep an Open Mind

I love the phrases “take what you need and leave the rest” and “live and let live”, the first time I heard them in the context of tolerance was at a 12 Step Meeting early in my recovery. I had become dogmatic in my views about the program and was a bit of Big Book thumper. The printed words in the book Alcoholics Anonymous were gospel to be followed to the letter and without divergence rather than a set of recommendations and suggestions as the authors of the program had intended.

“Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on out-side issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.” – Tradition 10, “12 Steps and 12 Traditions”.

Bill W and the other founders realized that in order to attract people to the program they needed to make it as palatable as possible for all irrespective of their religious, political or philosophical views or lack  there of. The Founders encouraged new comers to go out and try different things and to speak to psychologists, doctors and religious or spiritual advisors about their problems. The fellowship did not claim to have a cure but a program that if accepted as a way of life would bring a spiritual renewal that would remove the compulsion to drink.

In the program there are people of all religious denominations, political ideologies, atheists, agnostics, ages, races and background. Professionals sit side by side with shop floor workers. The rich sit with the poor. Everyone is in the same boat and opinions do not matter. All are accepted for who they truly are, a spiritual being having a human experience. A human being who wants to get sober. I have often wondered at how this is possible but it is and it could be like this everywhere. Opinions do not matter, people do. We can disagree but we can disagree agreeably.

Be Jedi, be tolerant and keep an open mind.

The Hero

12 Step Jedi Humility, Learning, Philosophy, Principles, Purpose, Service, Uncategorized, Virtues

“I, I will be king
And you, you will be queen
Though nothing, will drive them away
We can beat them, just for one day
We can be heroes, just for one day” – Bowie

The Hero’s Journey

When George Lucas wrote Star Wars he based the story on the mythical Hero as described by Joseph Campbell. “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” describes the “Hero’s Journey”, a narrative monomyth which has existed since the dawn of story telling. The Monomyth follows the story of one who answers the call for adventure, the Hero archetype. Departing home the Hero encounters and overcomes the fear of the unknown and sometimes with a mentor learns the path to overcoming challenges and obstacles that lay ahead. Towards the middle of the story the Hero meets resistance and facing peril must overcome  an enemy or nemesis and finding strength and the help of others is able gain the prize.

The story continues and we think the Hero is safely home but encounters even greater challenges that bar the way. Unable to escape the Hero battles in a climactic struggle. Victorious at last  the Hero claims the final prize and discovers a revelation that restores the balance. The Hero is transformed and returns home or continues the journey.

The “Hero’s Journey” can be seen as a metaphor for life. We all face similar milestones in our personal Journey through Life. In recovery, we know the path quite well.

The Hero

People have always been inspired by the Hero. Legends and Myths are full of them. Since the Babylonian tale of Gilgamesh written in 18 century BC, the human story has included Odysseus, Hercules, David and Jason. Our contemporary fiction is full of them and include unlikely heroes like Harry Potter, Bilbo and Frodo Baggins and Luke Skywalker and Jyn, Rey and Finn. Each of the characters became swept up in events greater than themselves. They  became accidental heroes who went far beyond what they believed they could achieve for the greater good. Their stories followed the classic “Hero’s Journey” as described by Campbell. The Hero provides humanity with an example for others to follow. We carry our Heroes on shields and decorate them with awards and medals.

No Ordinary Hero

Sometimes the Heroes of the world are right in front of us but we don’t even recognize them. These are not like the Heroes in the Ancient or Modern Sagas. They have committed themselves when action was needed with no time to think or plan. The bystander who jumps in to perform CPR, the one who instinctively jumps in to a swollen river to rescue a drowning child and the person who races in to a burning building to pull out survivors are the ones we sometimes hear about in the news. They remind us that there are still people out there who are willing to risk their lives for others. We think their acts are exceptional and rare while in fact they are in most people. The instinctive need to help and to protect and preserve life. It’s in our DNA.

We often hail our sporting achievers as “heroes” yet what have they done other than win a title, medals or a trophy, usually for great monetary reward and fame? Society tends to overlook underpaid and overworked care givers like Paramedics, Nurses, public health care Doctors as well as Police Officers and Fire and Rescue for their daily heroic deeds. Volunteers who dedicate their time and money to helping the poor, looking after the environment or taking care of animals are rarely considered “Heroes”. Not many people would count School Teachers, Hospice Workers, Aid Workers and Volunteers as Heroes. Soldiers are treated as “Heroes” and lauded for their military feats in some wars and derided or condemned for fighting others.

The Classic Hero as described by Joseph Campbell is a rare gem and one that primarily exists in literature and movies. Real Hero’s are are actually everywhere.

The Accidental Hero

Luke Skywalker was a hero of my childhood and for me had all the ideal traits that made such. I could also relate to Luke Skywalker on a personal level as I had also suffered loss. Skywalker gave many kids a dream that they could reach for the skies and achieve incredible feats if they only believed. Not long ago someone pointed out that Luke was no Hero. Why I asked? Well, he had destroyed an artificial planet with many thousands of lives. This “atrocity” had not ended the war, in many ways it had extended it and the untold suffering it caused.

The Death Star was moments away from ending the Rebellion and the war but instead it was destroyed. The Empire suffered a crushing military defeat with the loss of important Admirals and the ultimate weapon of deterrence. The war raged across the galaxy for years after and so did the death and the destruction. My Friend kind of had a point.

My Friend also pointed out that Luke Skywalker was not only against the established rule of law and active in an illegal Rebellion but he was indoctrinated in to an ancient religion. This religious belief compelled him to destroy the Death Star and continued to drive him to carry out attacks in the war and eventually topple it. Does this not sound at least a little like a terrorist?

The Modern Hero Dilemma

I thought about the many recent conflicts I had become acquainted. In these wars I had taken sides. One side was “Right” and the other “Wrong”. More than once I had called people I knew “Heroes”. They had traveled to Syria to join the Kurds and fight ISIL, an extremist and brutal regime. While I believe my friends to be Freedom Fighters and “Heroes”, other people, many decent and intelligent, called them “Terrorists” or “Criminals”. It made me realize that the word “Hero” can be a little ambiguous at times. In fact not everyone can agree on what, let alone who, a Hero is.

Then  what is a Hero? How would we define it? Many Real World Jedi have their own definition of what a Hero is and they diverge as much as people in any other part of society. This is a Jedi Philosophy Blog so I will take the words of Joseph Campbell to help define what a Hero is here:

“A hero is someone who has given his or her life to something bigger than oneself.“- Joseph Campbell

Then that would mean that anyone who has died for a cause that he or she considered bigger than themselves fits the definition of a Hero…Obviously this cause problems as it would firmly validate the phrase “one man’s freedom fighter is another man’s terrorist”. The cliché in fact contradicts itself as we know that no terrorist can be a Hero and no Hero can be a terrorist then neither can exist as they cancel each other out. To me a Friend in Syria is a Hero fighting for Freedom from tyranny, to many people in Turkey and  the Arab world he is a Terrorist as he happens to be fighting under a Kurdish Flag. Being a Hero can be complicated.

The Journey

As a recovering alcoholic I know that things never appear to be black and white. Every ideal and bias that we hold is a product of our Ego. The human psyche pushes many of us to embark on the “Heroes Journey”. In a perfect world there would be no need for Freedom Fighters or Terrorists. Heroes on the other hand, we need those angels like the Paramedics, Nurses, Cops and Soldiers who put others before themselves. The recovering Alcoholic in a 12 Step Meeting who comforts and consoles a newcomer who is at the end of his wits is a Hero. Each of us can through simple act of kindness and love in our daily lives also be Heroes.

“Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found. I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.” –  Gandalf “Lord of the Rings”

Marcus Aurelius admonishes us to stop “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one” There are five common traits found in a Hero. They are courage, selflessness, humility, patience and caring. These are the virtues which the Stoics like Aurelius found so important if one was to achieve the “good life”. They are also the virtues that a Jedi was expected to demonstrate consistently. The 12 Steps require all five virtues for recovery to be built on a solid foundation:

Courage

Courage is when a person does something in spite of their Fear.

“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear” – Mark Twain.

Selflessness

Selflessness is doing something for others without expecting anything in return, indeed often with personal sacrifice.

“selflessness is the only way for progress and prosperity” – The Bhagavad Gita

Humility

Humility is acting in a way that shows you respect yourself but never place yourself above others to look down.

“Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less” – CS Lewis

 

Patience

Patience is being able to accept that things to happen at their own pace even when we wished they wouldn’t. Good things do come to those that wait.

“Patience is bitter but it’s fruit is sweet” – Aristotle

 

Caring

Caring is showing to others the kindness and concern that they deserve. Caring is in the little acts that we do every day.

“Caring The simple act of caring is heroic” – Edward Albert

 

Can we be all of these things? Can we be the Hero that we are meant to be? We can be Heroes not in the big causes that we take up but in the simple every day acts of life.

Speak

12 Step Jedi Communication, Control, Ego, Humility, Principles, Self Discipline, Uncategorized, Virtues

“The ability to speak does not make you intelligent” – Qui-Gon Jinn “Episode 1: The Phantom Menace”

Jar Jar Binks was one of the most annoying characters created by George Lucas in the prequels. Many Star Wars fans cringe at the Gungan buffoon and derided the prequels for introducing him. Jar Jar Binks is actually like a lot of people we meet and not all of them act that way when they are drunk though they may at times sound like him. They are usually drawing a lot of attention their way and speaking a lot without actually saying anything useful.

How often do we kick ourselves after we have said something better left unsaid. We often catch ourselves too late. It would be better to think before speaking. There are also times when we wish we had said something but we didn’t. Not speaking up also seems at times as bad as saying the wrong things at the wrong times.

Silence

Silence is a virtue or so we are told. The teachers in my catholic school would remind us often that children are seen and not heard. Silence was imposed and voicing an opinion was discouraged. I have discovered that often the greatest wisdom comes from the mouth of a child. Plain truth belies innocence. One should always speak their truth quietly and clearly. Listen to your kids or Grand kids often.

Learning when to speak and when to keep silence is an art. We all want to be heard. Sometimes we are not given the chance. The loudest and most assertive speakers generally get the floor. Passive and quiet people are usually not heard above the din.

The Power of Quiet

I’ve usually found the loud, gregarious and boorish types who insist on being heard above others have the least to say. The ability to speak does not always imply intelligence. In our society it seems that the most vocal and the loudest get the most airplay time. There is nothing wrong with that as it is a sign of open discourse which keeps Democracy alive. This is true as long as others are not silenced and forgotten. The loud and arrogant have a right to be heard but so do the quiet and humble.

Usually the quiet types are the ones we need to listen to. Their silence might not hide ignorance but a reluctance to speak. They may also know that saving your voice for when it’s required is often the best approach. You see them in the back of the room at meetings. They are also the silent person at work and the quiet achiever in the team. When they speak up I usually listen intently. The quiet ones usually have something I often lack; diplomacy, wisdom and tact.

““[The Spartans] conceal their wisdom, and pretend to be blockheads, so that they may seem to be superior only because of their prowess in battle … This is how you may know that I am speaking the truth and that the Spartans are the best educated in philosophy and speaking: if you talk to any ordinary Spartan, he seems to be stupid, but eventually, like an expert marksman, he shoots in some brief remark that proves you to be only a child”. – Plato

Who would’ve thought the Spartans were the silent types? Many guys I met who were Special Forces Operators were quiet and unassuming but also sharp as a tack. The mark of a true warrior. A lot of people mistake being quiet for being weak, often a big mistake! The guys you met in a Bar who were loud and telling war stories were usually from rear units or had never served. Big mouths are usually compensating for some deficiency.

Speak Up!

Francis Bacon said that “silence is the virtue of fools”; this is true for those who remain silent when they should have spoken up.  Never remain silent when to do so would be an injustice. If we speak up and learn that despite what is apparent we are wrong then we can make amends. It is too late after something wrong happens that we could have otherwise prevented by raising our voice. It often stuns me when I learn that an accident has happened in the workplace and I hear someone say “I could see that was going to happen”. My first question is “Why didn’t you say anything?” . We all have a responsibility to speak up when it is required.

The fictional Jedi by nature were not gregarious, they were assertive and they did speak up when it was required. They did however speak mindfully; they measured their approach and considered their words particularly over delicate matters. The Jedi used tact and diplomacy. Words were not wasted. They said a lot in few words.

Listen Up!

“We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen more than we say.” –Zeno of Citium

Being a good listener is also a virtue. When we speak we are moving from the known to the known. Listening takes us from the unknown to the known, we learn something. Then in order to communicate effectively one must actively listen and respond being mindful of what we say and how we say it. Language is only partially verbal; body language, facial expressions, eye contact, hand motions, tone and the most subtle cues often communicate more than words. By listening actively we are communicating.

Women in particular are expert at picking cues and know when a guy is not listening. So for the sake of serenity, Listen!

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he knows something.” –Wilson Mizner

Meesa throw it all together

Knowing how to listen and when to speak and when to hold tongue is an exercise in self discipline and mindfulness. As an alcoholic I often feel compelled to allow my emotions to drive my tongue. It takes real presence of mind to catch myself. A speech injected with anger or resentment may get an impact but it is one we learn to regret later. Angry or yelling we don’t hear anything, not even ourselves making a mess of things. In recovery we learn that anger and resentment does not serve us. To throw anger at others through our words makes us feel worse not better.

“”First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.” – Epictetus

Jar Jar Binks eventually made it to the Galactic Senate and despite his clumsiness with words and actions still proved to be a worthy ally up until the fall of the Republic. The fact that he became a politician seems a parody of our own society where sometimes the politician with the biggest mouth ends up in the highest office. We should still be willing to give those people the benefit of the doubt when they say things that are less than intelligent. After all many of us said things that we wish we hadn’t and expected the same courtesy from others.

Bigger Fish

12 Step Jedi 12 Steps, Acceptance, Control, Emotional Sobriety, Humility, Perception, Uncategorized, Virtues

“There is always a bigger fish” – Qui-Gon Jinn “Episode 1: The Phantom Menace”

In the scene in “Episode I: The Phantom Menace”, Qui-Gon Jinn and Ob-Wan Kenobi are pursued by an underwater creature. Jar Jar Binks, is in fits of terror while the Jedi seem unconcerned by the looming menace. They seem more annoyed at the bumbling Gungan  they are stuck with. As the reptilian carnivore closes in it is ambushed by some vast underwater behemoth that rises from the deep and swiftly devoured. Qui-Gon Jinn remarks nonchalantly “Well, there is always a bigger fish”. It’s a forgettable scene but it’s a memorable quote and is one I use often in applying my philosophy for life.

Fact 1: No matter how big and tough someone thinks he is there is always some one out there who will better him.

Never think for a moment that you are invincible and that if you hold the title for world champion someone is not going to come along one day and knock you off your pedestal and claim the crown. It need not be a title or the claim to being the best at anything, even becoming over confident can eventually lead to cocky self-assuredness, arrogance and finally complacency. This would be a fatal mistake. For someone in recovery they are all red flags which can ultimately lead to relapse. Humility as a virtue is vital to sustained recovery.

“It was pride that changed angels into devils; it is humility that makes men as angels.” – Saint Augustine

Fight Smart

The only wars that are truly won are those that were resolved before a shot was fired. I personally would not invite my addiction outside for a fight. I might win the first round but eventually pound for pound it will mop the floor with my face.  So I won’t dance with the Devil.

By fighting we leave ourselves open to being beaten, especially if we lead by the chin by being arrogant. Regardless of how recovered I think I am I know that the best way to win a fight is not to be there in the first place. I avoid situations that lead me in to trouble, I recognize the red flags as they appear and if required I have a tool bag of spiritual and mental skills I can use when needed. I fight smart.

“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing, in so far as it stands ready against the accidental and the unforeseen, and is not apt to fall.” Marcus Aurelius

It is better to treat life like a wrestling match than a dance or in the case of an alcoholic, a bout of bare knuckle brawling. Trying to fight life through brute force only wears us out and half the time you are beating yourself. Fools think they can dance through life. Realists realize that life is more like wrestling. Life sweeps us up, knocks us down and tries to pin us. We manage to break the hold and flip things over getting the upper hand until the next time we are thrown off balance. The trick is to be prepared mentally and physically for the things that tip us over.

 

Fact 2: No matter how big or bad a problem seems to be it could always be worse.

The next time something annoys you or you are faced with a vexing problem ask yourself “could this be any worse”? The truth is of course it could be. Things can always be worse than they are. Take a moment to collect your thoughts. Look around you and notice the things that are going right in your life. Realize that the world is still there, society still functions, the sun will rise in the morning to another day. What ever is bothering you now will pass.

Sobriety does not give us immunity from pain but it does give us the opportunity to respond to the vicissitudes of life in a sane and appropriate manner.

“Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them.” – Epictetus

Gratitude is a powerful force in your life and so is the ability to perceive and prepare for the “worst case scenario”. Negative visualization is one practice I use often to readjust my perception of “problems”. When I think about how bad some people have it I am reminded of how lucky I am. Things could always be worse.

Imagine the Worst

Negative visualization was used by the Stoics. Seneca reminds us that we should remember that our life can end at any moment and we should appreciate life to the full. Epictetus advises that when we kiss our children good night we should remember that it may be the last kiss. Children can be taken away. All things are transitory and impermanent and fate can change in an instant so we are reminded to savor every moment we spend with our loved ones.

Society compels us to live hedonistic lives, the book “The Secret” teaches us to use positive visualization to get the things we want, stating that the University will provide riches and opportunities if we simply claim them. Negative visualization teaches us to want what we have and appreciate more what we get.

The trouble with trying to get the Universe to give us things through positive visualization is we get really annoyed when it doesn’t fall out of the sky in to our lap. Worse it fosters a culture of entitlement and a ride on the hedonistic treadmill, we get what we want and then soon growing tired of it we want more and more.

Negative visualization teaches us not to take anything for granted especially our sobriety.

“Prepare for the worst, hope for the best” – Unknown

Jonah and the Big Fish

Let’s use Jonah as an example in keeping with the giant fish theme. Jonah was sent on a mission by God which he didn’t want to accept because it was “too hard” or it didn’t agree with his plans. Too bad Jonah these things pick you. Displeased, God tossed Jonah about on an angry sea before the reluctant prophet was thrown over board by his terrified companions. Jonah was then swallowed by a behemoth and held for three days in the innards before being unceremoniously spewed up on the beach of ancient Israel for good measure. Then it’s a long walk to Nineveh where he has to deliver the news that the entire city is about to be destroyed by divine wrath which is certain to make him as popular as a bacon sandwich at a Bar Mitzvah.

Things do turn out well though; Jonah gets his second wind and gets the population of Nineveh to repent sparing them from annihilation. Having done a great job he gets a whole chapter dedicated to him in the Bible and almost everyone has heard the story.

Jonah should have just had faith to being with and done what he was told in the first place and cut all the fuss, he should have gone straight to Nineveh. Instead of being a sour puss Jonah should have taken a leaf from the Athenians and used negative visualization to harden up for the worst case scenario and then worked for the best outcome. The flip side of course is that his reticence taught the rest of us an important lesson about accountability and duty.

 

Fact 3: The biggest and best that you think you can achieve might be wrong. You can always do better if you want. There is always “bigger fish to fry”.

We define our own “impossible”. If we say we can’t do something we are probably right, if we say we can we are probably right. Recovery has taught me that I can achieve more than I gave myself credit for. I never imagined I would be three months sober let alone 5 years. If I can do it so can anyone else.

The idiom does not only apply to recovery but in all other aspects of my life as well. Whether it is setting goals at work, in training or in my personal life I set the bar a little higher. I try to work in a zone of Eustress.

Good Stress, Bad Stress

Under stress is where we are not challenged. We are simply coasting along and usually accepting mediocre as good enough. If we put in average effort we are going to end up with average results but more usually none at all.

“Half measures availed us nothing” – Big Book p59.

Distress is the opposite, we are at the limit of our physical, mental, emotional or spiritual capacity and sometimes beyond. Performance starts to fall apart and effort is non-sustainable. In early recovery I went in to hyper mode and over loaded myself. This of course led to distress and almost a relapse. “Easy does it” means to do it but do it easy, which of course means Eustress!

Eustress is the zone in between under-stress and distress. It is the zone of optimal performance where we are challenged but within our capacity and we can improve over time.

Set Goals

I work towards self improvement. In physical training for example the only way to make gains is to increase the load or the reps a little every time, introducing new exercises also helps, mixing it up. Sticking to the same routine will work for a while but soon you will simply plateau out and get bored and you won’t make gains.

When setting goals that push you, allow yourself to recover and then ratchet it up a bit more. If you plateau, back off a bit and then hit it again. Without rushing but with a slow and steady pace you will see improvement. New opportunities and bigger goals come in to view and the next thing you know you are doing things you thought were impossible a few weeks or months prior. Put the effort in and see the results. Nothing worthwhile is gained without hard work. Fortune does not fall out of the sky as promised in “The Secret”.

This formula works for training, learning a language, overcoming fears, dealing with anxiety and depression and almost anything else where the goal is gradual improvement over time. Always speak to a professional health advisor before starting a new program.

Oh and if you fish you will be very familiar that there is no such thing as “the biggest fish” only the “biggest catch of the day”. There is always tomorrow and if you hook Jar Jar Binks, throw him back in.

Leadership

12 Step Jedi Humility, Principles, Purpose, Service, Training, Virtues

“You don’t have to carry a sword to be powerful, a leaders strength is inspiring greatness in others” – Ahsoka Tano

A Rare Quality

To be Jedi is to be a Leader. Jedi choose to lead even if they are reluctant at first to do so they know it is their duty and responsibility as Jedi. The Jedi lead by example not by Force.

The Fictional Jedi were given leadership roles in the Republic. Positions of authority were granted as part of the Jedi title. A young Padawan student might have been given command of a battalion of Clone Troopers and was expected to lead them in to battle. The reality of war service demanded that they be willing to put aside hesitation, control their fear, reject their doubt and do their duty. They had to put the mission and the welfare of their troops above themselves. Quite a demand!

On our world I have met barely 21 year old men and women in the Israeli Defense Force with the rank of Captain or Major. Their dedication to duty and willingness to sacrifice themselves and lead others from the front is what makes their Defense Force and the country so united, resilient and strong. The young Young Kurdish female fighters of the YPG also lead men into battle against the Islamic State fanatics today. Their bravery, optimism, love of life and courage has gained the admiration of the world and continues to as they march to final victory.

“I am not afraid of an army of lions led by a sheep; I am afraid of an army of sheep led by a lion.” – Alexander the Great

False Leadership

Being Alcoholic and arrogant I had a false sense of superiority and an inflated ego that demanded respect without earning it. I expected simple length of service and appointed rank sufficient to define me as a leader. My subordinates at work may have obeyed my orders but it was out of fear and with resentment.

In my role as a Leader I was demanding standards in work and conduct from my charges that I was not applying to myself. Where there was failure or mistakes the blame would cascade down. Any credit for hard work and success went to me. My double standards negated my mandate to lead however the system kept me in charge and my team did what they could to resist and undermine me. To defy poor and incompetent leadership is a natural thing to do despite what we are told by society.

In my Regiment in the Army obedience to command was paramount but insubordination was common and also a natural response to incompetence. A corporal seemed to have the power of life and death over a private. Sergeants were a class above and Officers were like Gods. You did not even look at Officers unless you wanted a NCO to march over and literally rip your face off.

“Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you have stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help or concluded you do not care. Either case is a failure of leadership” – Colin Powell

Fear and Coercion

The entire ethos in my regiment was one of fear and intimidation. Through coercion and harsh discipline we were shaped in to an effective fighting force but there was no love or respect for command. With few exceptions they did not inspire us. If they told us to fight we did because we loved the fight anyway not because we respected them. We did what we did for each other and true Leaders stood among us in the ranks.

Operations were interesting. They say what “goes in the field stays in the field”. A number of unpopular NCO’s met “accidents” on patrol and were badly injured and repatriated. If a squad or platoon leader was a cluster in the field he was a liability and if not removed by echelon then he was removed one way or another by the Grunts.

Leaders that only care for themselves are not leaders. They may hold rank through some community, civic or military authority and enforce it through fear and intimidation but they are not Leaders.

“People ask the difference between a leader and a boss. The leader leads, and the boss drives” – Theodore Roosevelt

Lead by Example

Being sober and recovered gives us the opportunity to demonstrate that we are leaders in the truest sense. At home, work and in the community we can lead by virtue of example. We can demonstrate our principles consistently and in all of our affairs.

Being firm but fair in our approach we can adopt an attitude of transparency and openness. We look to where we can serve others before ourselves. People become drawn to our humility and selflessness. They recognize these virtues as leadership qualities and they gravitate to us. The respect is mutual and trust is established.

Leaders do this not for rewards or credit but because it is the right thing to do. It is their duty.

“If serving is below you, leadership is beyond you” – Anonymous
In the program there are no leaders, just persons appointed in to certain support functions needed to ensure the fellowship works. It is a egalitarian system that fosters trust and respect. All the same every person who shows up to help his fellow is a Leader in their own right.
Being given the opportunity to Lead is a privilege not an entitlement as I once imagined. Whether you hold that responsibility at home, at work or in the community remember we lead in order to serve others, not ourselves. By being sober and living in accordance with principles you lead by example. In doing so you help others strive to be better.

Be the Leader you are meant to be.

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” – Lao Tzu

Learn

12 Step Jedi 12 Steps, Humility, Service, Training

“Suspend your judgment, and every being has something to teach you.” – Qui-Gon Jinn

One of the greatest mistakes that can be made is to reject something out of hand, without any consideration. More often than not we pass judgement on others before we have gotten to know them, we decide on an issue before we have all the facts. As a result we deny ourselves an opportunity to learn something new. We close our minds.

“Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.” – Desiderata

Another mistake is to not try new things. To blindly follow one way and ignore all others deprives us of the chance to further grow in our recovery.

Evolve

I am a strong believer in the precept “take what you need and leave the rest”.  To place labels on myself is to make a statement “this is who I am”. Who I am actually changes constantly. There is no definitive “I am”. We are not who we were yesterday and we will not be the same tomorrow. Our lives are bombarded constantly with information. With every experience our perception of the world changes and sometimes our view point can change dramatically. The way I viewed my own life, spirituality, God and recovery five years ago is very very different to the way I view it now. I have no doubt it will continue to evolve.

As I change, so do my needs.

Sometimes the main challenge is to sift through the information and decide what to take on board and what to reject. The beauty of a practical philosophy for life is that we embrace the chance to learn and try new things. We adopt what works and drop what does not in the now. Dogma and doctrine does not bind the Jedi.

Everyone has heard the saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks”. It is true that with age we become wiser and more set in our ways. We are more judging and skeptical. Fortunately most of us also accept that we don’t know everything, the problem is we are often reluctant to change. However change we must.

Listen and Learn

The fellowship of the 12 steps program is a thing of beauty. I can sit in a room and listen to complete strangers tell their story and share their hope and dreams for a sober life. Every story is unique and carries a message. Every person who speaks adds to the collective experience in the room and contributes to the recovery of others. We all listen with open ears and open hearts. We may not agree with everything that is said, but we listen, consider and decide what to take from the share. Every share is an opportunity to learn.

The truth is we never stop learning and very often the most valuable lessons come from the most unlikely places. My children for example have taught me more about empathy, compassion and tolerance than I thought possible. They also taught me to be a kid again. Friends, companions and co-workers teach us in ways we often overlook. The fellow alcoholic in the 12 step meeting teaches me a lot, especially to never forget. Sometimes I also wish I could be the person my Dog thinks I am. Pets are a gift. They teach us to be gentle, kind, loyal and attentive, to love unconditionally.

Share to Keep

It has taken a long time for me to realize that I don’t know everything and that we never stop learning. Old dogs can learn new tricks. I have also come to learn that everyone I encounter in my life leaves an imprint on me in someway.

We should never ignore “even the dull and the ignorant”.  I also often wonder if everyone who has enters and leaves our life was meant to. That some sort of serendipitous fate exists that brings souls together for their mutual benefit and growth. When that soul benefit is gained they move apart.

I learned so much about myself during my years of active alcoholism and I learned more during recovery. Every experience has made me the person I am today. My role now is to continue to learn from every angle but also to share what I’ve learned along the way.

So I will share what I think I know and if someone suspends their judgement, hears me out and benefits from that then it’s all been worth it.

Redemption

12 Step Jedi 12 Steps, Amends, Forgiveness, Humility, Uncategorized

When Anakin had succumbed to his fears, anger and hate and fallen to the dark side the person that he was died. In his place rose Darth Vader, a dark shadow of his former self and a slave to the Dark Lord. In “Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi”, Darth Vader finally realizes who he truly is and finding the love for his son Luke, he turns on his Master, Darth Sidious. The redemption of Anakin was the final end of Darth Vader.

“I’ll not leave you now. I’ve got to save you.” – Luke Skywalker

“You already have.” – Anakin Skywalker

The Chains of Addiction

The fall of Anakin and the emergence of a twisted and tormented Darth Vader in the same body can be viewed as a metaphor for suffering and the slavery of addiction. How many people have we encountered in our lives who changed so utterly through addiction that they were barely recognizable? Family and friends no longer knew them and they no longer knew themselves.

The effects of drug and alcohol addiction carries an insidious toll on a person’s life and on their psyche. I became morally compromised and spiritually bankrupt through alcoholism though I did not see it at the time. The difference between who I had been and who I became was stark.

By destroying Darth Sidious and saving his son, the chains that had held Anakin in the form of Darth Vader finally came off. He  emerges from the dark place where he had been imprisoned and tortured for decades as a mere slave to fear, anger and hatred. As Anakin lies dying he atones for the past. He forgives and is forgiven and finds redemption at last. Anakin is set free and is reunited with the Force.

Inventory

Realizing the truth of who we are and what we have done through our alcoholism can be painful but it is also liberating. I remember one of the most emotional experiences I have ever had was completing my inventory in Step 4.  Admitting it to my Higher Power and sharing it with another in Step 5 was to finally free myself from the bondage of the past. I saw at last who I had been and the damage I had done to myself and others. There was another way and I could forgive myself and build a new life.

“Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”

“Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

After sharing my story I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off. I was ready to change and I wanted to right the wrongs of the past. Filled with hope for the future I looked forward to making amends and claiming a sober life. The clouds parted and at last it felt as if a door had opened and I had passed through to a new dimension a free man.

Amends

Several years ago when I was still drinking I learned that my Father had passed away as a skid row drunk. He had been dry when I had last seen him 25 years earlier but we became estranged and I never spoke to him again. In time he became little more than a rumor. The news was that he moved around a lot and was back “on the sauce”.

Over the years I often wondered what I would say if we met again and whether I could forgive him. There had been anger for years for a miserable childhood. I  blamed my drinking and many of my troubles on him. There were so many faults I so despised in him that I had revealed in myself. Like Luke Skywalker I was in danger of falling to the Dark Side, like his Father and indeed in the end it had me.

When I learned that my Father had died my feelings were mixed. Part of me did not care, another part was sad and the last part was angry I had been robbed of an opportunity to tell him how he had ruined so many lives including my own. My reaction was to simply get drunk in response to the news. I was more like him than I dared admit.

Forgive

When I compiled my list of amends in Step 8 I placed my Father near the top of the list. The predicament of course was that he had died the previous year. I said a prayer and Forgave him and asked for forgiveness in return. With that I blessed his memory and made peace at last with a painful part of my life. Perhaps someday we will meet again on the other side of the veil where these things will no longer matter.

Forgiveness and making amends is one of the most powerful experiences that anyone in recovery can experience. The humility and compassion that we discover during the inventory and disclosure of our faults is further cultivated as we put aside resentment and pride and seek to atone for the past. We also begin to find redemption as Anakin did by seeking forgiveness and by forgiving others. Most of all we find the power to forgive ourselves and move on.

MTFBWY

Children

12 Step Jedi Emotional Sobriety, Humility, Principles, Serenity, Virtues

“Truly wonderful the mind of a child is.” – Yoda “Episode 2: Attack of the Clones”.

Do you remember what it was like to be a child? That sense of wonder at discovering new things, the fascination and joy. Everything seemed bigger and brighter and your senses were alive soaking up every experience. As we grew up something happened; the veil came down. We started to lose our innocent sense of wonder, acceptance and trust. As we entered in to our teens the world started to lose its magic and color. We no longer cared for the same things in the same way as we did when we were little. The Ego expanded and we started to see ourselves as apart from everything.

“Children are remarkable for their intelligence and ardour, for their curiosity, their intolerance of shames, the clarity and ruthlessness of their vision.” – Aldous Huxley

Losing my Childhood

When I was a kid I would escape in to my own world. In that place lived Obi-Wan Kenobi and Luke Skywalker. There was Han Solo, Princess Leia and Chewbacca.  Darth Vader was also there. Outside of my imagination there was all the misery of a childhood lost. The mind of a child is an amazing thing. Unlike adults they seem to be able to accept things more readily and handle life better.

For me the final death of my childhood was when I got drunk the first time and felt something within me expand. It was a feeling of power and independence. I could finally close the door on my childhood. It had been after all a miserable one. Here I was with my Army buddies in a bar, chest thumping and making bloody oaths. I was now a Man, at least in my own eyes. The veil slammed down and the fog drifted in.

Rip Van Winkle’s Sleep

Alcoholism is a twilight that exists between two phases in our life, the time before it and the time after it. During that time we are in a form of mental stasis. We do not seem to move forward in our emotional development. For me I stopped growing up in that seedy bar with my drunken and loud comrades by my side. Like Rip Van Winkle, I would only really wake up from my emotional and spiritual slumber 25 years later.

At that dark emotional and spiritual low point in our lives some of us call “Rock Bottom” I discovered something incredible. I found that the way out was to reclaim a child like sense of wonder and trust. Without even being aware of the 12 Steps I found my Higher Power in that place and felt within me the inner child stirred. It lifted me up and I came out of the pit renewed. The world looked…different. Everything was clean and fresh and new. I was seeing the world in a completely different way as if through the eyes of a child.

“Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 18:2-4

Awaken the Inner Child

We adults must seem inflexible and obtuse to children at times. I can still hear my children imploring me to get dressed up as Pirate, Spider Man or a Fairy. They would be disappointed when I would refuse and delighted when I would drop my ridiculous sensibilities and play the part in their game. Those children are now teenagers and to them I am an old “Fart”now, barely worth a side ways glance. The veil came down for them some time ago. Kids these days grow fast or at least they seem to. Obviously I don’t get called upon to get “dressed up” any longer. They have grown and so have I.

Yet the inner child never dies. If you look within you will find it is still there. That sense of awe and wonder, a long forgotten innocence remains. There is forgiveness and boundless love that sweeps over you like a fresh morning breeze in the sun when you find your inner child. I think it is the inner divine or at least a facet of it. Seek it out often; try to remember what it was to be 7 years of age all over again. You will find joy and inner peace there.

“The pursuit of truth and beauty is a sphere of activity in which we are permitted to remain children all our lives.” – Albert Einstein

Photo Credit: United Press photographer Arthur Sasse in 1951